God continues His work

TheresALotThatNeedsToBeWrittenHereBecauseIveBeenPrivilegedToHaveHadSomeReallyGoodConversationsWithPeopleInTheLastFewDaysAndWithGodAsWellAsSomeReallyIntenseThoughtSessions:

StuffAboutMyself,MyInsecurities,MyDesiresAndAmbitions,MyThoughtsAndEmotions. StuffAboutGod,AboutWhatIThinkOfHim. StuffAboutPeopleAndHowIInteractAndPerceiveThem.

RealizingAllOfThisHasBeenFruitfulButCrushingAndOverwhelmingAndThoughtProvokingAndHumbling.

At the same time, God remains to be praised:

You never abandon what You have begun. Make perfect my imperfections.
- via St_Augustine's Twitter Account

I'm not where I want to be. But, hopefully, I'm not what I used to be.

Idolatry, and human pride

I like people. A lot. Unfortunately, this means that every now and then I really really really care about what people think of me. Although I'm a reasonably independent ninja, deep down inside, at the most inopportune moments, there's a little voice going "What would people think?". Or, "Yay, people think I'm cool - I must be".

Isaiah's got a helpful reminder about people's place in humanity. Sure, human beings were created to be lord over the earth, but this is under God's ultimate Lordship.

22 Stop trusting in mere humans,
who have but a breath in their nostrils.
Why hold them in esteem?

Isaiah 2:22

Similarly, Isaiah reminds us of the foolishness of worshipping idols, reminding us clearly that all idols are man-made.

20 In that day people will throw away
to the moles and bats
their idols of silver and idols of gold,
which they made to worship.

Isaiah 2:30

Why worship createds when you can worship the Creator?

Easier said than done, though.

Sole idols

Take 2:

Okay, so I'm trying to figure out what it was I was trying to say earlier in the post:Soul idols, and I think I worked it out.

What I was trying to say that, because God is such an overwhelming BIG God, that if you lose sight of Him, you're in trouble and a million things will rush in to take His place in your life. Sorta like your feet being a lank important part of your body. Because we walk so often.

No, okay, I can see why you might disagree that it isn't really like that. But yes, I'm still on the feet issue. (As you can see from my pun in the title, ha-di-ha-ha.)
Tonight is Monday, and I finally have an appointment with a physio on Wednesday. So far away, so far. And I'm at the point where I'm completely COMPLETELY fedup with my silly plaguing injury. And, in the funny coincidental way that sometimes overtakes life, tonight I'm really struggling with my idols. And I'm completely COMPLETELY fedup with my own sinfulness. Isn't it ironic how we become so blinded to the things, the Thing, that matters most in life?

Grr.

Again, I doubt this post made much sense. Maybe there'll be a Take 3...

What are you doing with your life?

I got one of those emails today that are meant to make you think about what you're doing with your life. You know, the typical questions:

- What are you doing now that will last for eternity? (Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. Matt 6v19)
- Where is your life heading? (For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matt 6v21)

A bit desensitized to the impact of these, I was about to delete it, and then saw the following point:

How much of your life is spent doing things because others expect you to? (Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, ... Eph 6v7)

And this one hit home particularly.

1) Cause I can be a bit of a people pleaser, doing things because I should, and because it is expected of me, and

2) as my previous post(s) shows, I'm struggling with idols at the moment.

So this was a really good reminder, to put God at the centre of my life, NOT people, NOT my temporary future here on earth.

Let's go spend today wisely.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. (Jim Elliott, methinks.)

PS yeah yeah, I know I said in my previous post I'd come back and try again at thinking of a suitable metaphor, but I'm experiencing a couple of brain farts in this regard...

Soul idols

Idolizing is like having a bothersome foot-arch-muscle-injury.. 'cause after a while, other muscles start twinging and hurting, as the rest of your body starts compensating for the major point of injury.

Okay, so that analogy doesn't really work. But it did make sense in my head last night as I was lying awake counting the little nerve centers of pain in my leg area. Not cool. Kinda painful in fact. I should get to the foot doctor again soon.

BUT that's beside the point. This made me think about the way that everything is connected. Like that childhood song: "The hip bone's connected to the knee bone.. the knee bone's connected to the" etcetc. [Don't worry about it if you have no idea what I'm singing. For one, I'm not singing out loud. For another, I can't remember the correct words, so I made those up. But the song definitely has something to do with anatomy. And bones.]

And the reason I'm talking about interconnectedness, is 'cause I've realized that losing sight of God, and turning to another idol, has resulted in that all my systems were slowly failing and resorting to other idols.

Grr. I'm not making much sense am I? I blame it on the essays I'm busy marking at the moment. Lalalallalala.
I'll try again tomorrow. Or later. Depending how badly I need a break after making a few more

Born Again... Lazy?!?

Tonight I realized that I have replaced God in my life with another idol. I'm not going to mention what that is, 'cause it's kinda personal, but either way, I realized that God is (has not been for a while) not number one in my life anymore.

I was visiting another church, casually minding my own business, when the phrase 'born again lazy' hit me hard enough to be bury into my head, from where I later took it out and pondered over it. I mean, I know for months now that I haven't been doing my QTs, and the signs that THIS IS affecting my walk with Christ are all too visible - the appearance of expletives in my vocabulary (even if it's only said in my head or muttered under my breath), the easy slippage into judgmental thoughts when others are different, the prioritizing of other things.. And all because I'm born again lazy - because I haven't really been fighting for God's place as number one in my life.

This isn't too say that God hasn't been trying to make me alert to this- tonight's sermon wasn't the first time He's tried to bring my attention back to Him.. I'm just really lazy, stubborn, and sinful. But tonight I realized that I don't want to be a three-word Christian - I don't want to be born again lazy. I just want to be born again :). So I'm dropping the lazy, and I'm getting back to reading my word, and really talking to God.

Yay.

Symptoms..

For some reason, I know I'm struggling/ doubtful/ unhappy/ cross with God/ [something is not right] when I'm not eating properly. I tend to eat quite healthily and when I
1) overeat (which is saying much, cause I actually eat a LOT in the first place!), or
2) eat junk food (I enjoy eating healthily and don't usually don't touch the stuff),
then I know something's up.

The last few days, I've had: the glorious Maccy D's fries, eaten a whole big pack of chips by myself (Mexican habanero flavour actually.. it was frigging awesome.. I felt like I was burning inside!! Yum yum! So I had to eat more for the fire feeling!), tons of pizza (which I usually avoid because I don't do well with dairy), fudge, ice-cream (again, dairy), choc sticks... Get the picture?

It's quite a handy symptom. And it makes sense. If something's not right with your relationship with God, obviously you'll turn to an idol that you can control. Or not really. Overeating/ eating junk food might actually just be a minor self-destructing tendency.

...I think I over-psychoanalyse.

Either way, something's up. Hmm....