God continues His work

TheresALotThatNeedsToBeWrittenHereBecauseIveBeenPrivilegedToHaveHadSomeReallyGoodConversationsWithPeopleInTheLastFewDaysAndWithGodAsWellAsSomeReallyIntenseThoughtSessions:

StuffAboutMyself,MyInsecurities,MyDesiresAndAmbitions,MyThoughtsAndEmotions. StuffAboutGod,AboutWhatIThinkOfHim. StuffAboutPeopleAndHowIInteractAndPerceiveThem.

RealizingAllOfThisHasBeenFruitfulButCrushingAndOverwhelmingAndThoughtProvokingAndHumbling.

At the same time, God remains to be praised:

You never abandon what You have begun. Make perfect my imperfections.
- via St_Augustine's Twitter Account

I'm not where I want to be. But, hopefully, I'm not what I used to be.

Idolatry, and human pride

I like people. A lot. Unfortunately, this means that every now and then I really really really care about what people think of me. Although I'm a reasonably independent ninja, deep down inside, at the most inopportune moments, there's a little voice going "What would people think?". Or, "Yay, people think I'm cool - I must be".

Isaiah's got a helpful reminder about people's place in humanity. Sure, human beings were created to be lord over the earth, but this is under God's ultimate Lordship.

22 Stop trusting in mere humans,
who have but a breath in their nostrils.
Why hold them in esteem?

Isaiah 2:22

Similarly, Isaiah reminds us of the foolishness of worshipping idols, reminding us clearly that all idols are man-made.

20 In that day people will throw away
to the moles and bats
their idols of silver and idols of gold,
which they made to worship.

Isaiah 2:30

Why worship createds when you can worship the Creator?

Easier said than done, though.

So I've been feeling a bit 'out' the past while... musings...

I've never been the typical girl, or even, a person that falls too easily into categories. Not that any of us really are, if we are to believe the PoMos, but sometimes I wonder if I'm not unusual even for unusualities. I'm loud and sociable, the typical extrovert, but at the same time I can't live without my personal, reflective time like any other introvert. I can go for days joking about anything and everything, but at the switch of a tone, I can slip into serious existential discussions. I'm the tomboy who likes to climb things and knows how to punch boys, but I also like wearing dresses and dressing up. I read and think like a BA, but I also really like exercise and sport. [And I miss maths and science.]

Versatile, the Sister calls it. Fair enough. Except that sometimes getting along with everyone means that you don't fit in with anyone at all.

I know that I've presented a lot of stereotypes in the first paragraph, but I think I just wanted to say that sometimes I feel out of sync with whichever group of friends I'm hanging out with. Even with my church friends, who are more than friends - they have the (un)fortunate position of being family, muhahahahhahaha ... Sometimes, especially with my church friends. Umm.. I don't know where I'm actually going with this post. It's not as though I'd like all my readers who are also my friends to suddenly develop an interest in Google Wave (google's latest offering), Ruth Stone (amazing American poet), my gym schedule, and what-happened-when-I-went-wine-tasting-on-Saturday all at the same time, 'cause I have different friends that cater for different types of conversations and friendships. It's not that I want your sympathy or sudden attention either - that's definitely not going to make things better. I think, I just wanted to say that it's okay if you don't fit in either. In fact, how much more amazing is what God has done in unifying for himself a body that doesn't quite always move like an Olympic athlete's but rather like a gangly pre-teen boy.

No, wait. That's not quite the conclusion I was going for either. Let's try this again:

It's okay if you don't fit in, because you shouldn't be defined by the company we keep, nor by the company we slot into. It's okay - 'cause God has made you to be a crazy cool unique individual who doesn't need to feel as though you fit in with a specific group to be a person.

Yes, that's it. Much better.

PS PoMos -Po[st]Mo[dern]s

PPS I don't get along with everyone in the whole world. A lot of people, though ;).

Sole idols

Take 2:

Okay, so I'm trying to figure out what it was I was trying to say earlier in the post:Soul idols, and I think I worked it out.

What I was trying to say that, because God is such an overwhelming BIG God, that if you lose sight of Him, you're in trouble and a million things will rush in to take His place in your life. Sorta like your feet being a lank important part of your body. Because we walk so often.

No, okay, I can see why you might disagree that it isn't really like that. But yes, I'm still on the feet issue. (As you can see from my pun in the title, ha-di-ha-ha.)
Tonight is Monday, and I finally have an appointment with a physio on Wednesday. So far away, so far. And I'm at the point where I'm completely COMPLETELY fedup with my silly plaguing injury. And, in the funny coincidental way that sometimes overtakes life, tonight I'm really struggling with my idols. And I'm completely COMPLETELY fedup with my own sinfulness. Isn't it ironic how we become so blinded to the things, the Thing, that matters most in life?

Grr.

Again, I doubt this post made much sense. Maybe there'll be a Take 3...

Soul idols

Idolizing is like having a bothersome foot-arch-muscle-injury.. 'cause after a while, other muscles start twinging and hurting, as the rest of your body starts compensating for the major point of injury.

Okay, so that analogy doesn't really work. But it did make sense in my head last night as I was lying awake counting the little nerve centers of pain in my leg area. Not cool. Kinda painful in fact. I should get to the foot doctor again soon.

BUT that's beside the point. This made me think about the way that everything is connected. Like that childhood song: "The hip bone's connected to the knee bone.. the knee bone's connected to the" etcetc. [Don't worry about it if you have no idea what I'm singing. For one, I'm not singing out loud. For another, I can't remember the correct words, so I made those up. But the song definitely has something to do with anatomy. And bones.]

And the reason I'm talking about interconnectedness, is 'cause I've realized that losing sight of God, and turning to another idol, has resulted in that all my systems were slowly failing and resorting to other idols.

Grr. I'm not making much sense am I? I blame it on the essays I'm busy marking at the moment. Lalalallalala.
I'll try again tomorrow. Or later. Depending how badly I need a break after making a few more

The voice of truth

I'm busy listening to Casting Crowns' The voice of truth, which made me think about ... the voices in your head. I mean, my head. And yours. Ours. Umm. Moving along.

 

Now now, let's be honest: Everyone's got voices in their head, just like everyone's in the habit of talking to themselves every now and then. (Well, I know I am!). But I don't know if this is also the case for you: quite a lot of the time, the voices in my head can be pretty negative... and horrible. I remember once I was feeling a bit insecure about approaching a group of really pretty people 'cause the voices were saying "You aren't pretty enough to go talk to them/"You're not good enough to be their friend" in the looks-biased approach that the world seems to suggest is normal. But when I told Princess Sarah about these doubts about my self-worth, she said: "Don't listen to those lies. They are not from God."

And that just hit me. God is not the source of our insecurities, our neuroticisms, the negative voices in our heads... So why do we believe them?
 
Okay, this is not to say that if the voice in your head is telling you not to jump into the fire that you should do it. This post is not advocating that. But I'm talking about NOT LISTENING to the lies that chip away at our self-worth and image as God's children. Lies that generally follow the train of thought: "You're good enough."

Because we are. Everyone is. As children made in God's image, we ARE more than enough.

So remember that. Slay that nasty voice in your head - it's not from God.

 

GGATHND: Part III - False Identities

I just read this most amazing book called "God's Grace and the Homosexual Next Door" by Alan Chambers and the Leadership Team at Exodus International. It's so wonderful I just have to share bits and pieces from it! It's written so graciously and humbly, yet uncompromising on the truth that ALL have sinned and that Jesus has died for ALL :).

On the one hand it recognises that there are practical tips and guidelines to follow when dealing with homosexuality, as it is a unique sin in some regards. On the other hand, it's written realizing on that homosexuality is like all other sin in God's eyes and therefore deserves no 'higher abomination' status than other sins. In that regard, it's been a really helpful reminder of who we are as Christians, how sin affects us, and how to minister to others.

The third post is on false identities:

Interestingly, just as the term 'gay' or 'homosexual' indicates a false identity, actually so does the term ex-gay. The desired change in identity should pull the focus from the sin or struggle with sin and onto the true, fully righteous, fully holy identity bestowed on them via the Cross of Jesus Christ. This concept is key for the people leaving homosexuality because it forces them to accept that who they are is not changed or altered by feelings or even actions. They begin to find freedom from untrue definitions of who they are and to accept who God says they are. They discover who they really are in Christ, and they experience true freedom (p.73).

By the way, this search for identity in Christ alone isn't unique to people leaving homosexuality. All people, at some level, are on a quest for true identity. People search for identity in heterosexual promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, work, money, and relationships. Coming to grips with our legitimate identities as men and women in Christ is essentially the same process for all Christians (p.71).

Healing comes when we adopt Christ's heart and attitude and learn to apply that to how we feel about ourselves (29).

[If every time you read the word 'homosexual' and don't feel that that sentence applies to you, just insert one of the many sins you struggle with].

*All extracts from Chambers, Alan. God's Grace and the Homosexual Next Door. USA: Harvest House Publishers, 2006.