Aligning hearts

The lovely Miss L sent me an news update from her friend about her struggles to get funding for some overseas flights. I found the most beautifully sentiment expressed in it:

I was convinced, however, that if going there was what God wanted me to do, He would provide. And if He didn’t want it, then I didn’t want to go anyway!

I absolutely love it. I am often disappointed or upset when things don't turn out the way I want or think they should. But here, the friend responds in faith and contentment, surrendering her plans to the Lord:"And if He didn’t want it, then I didn’t want to go anyway!" If only we were always so content and confident in God! If only we always believed that He knows what is best for us!

Dear God

please help my heart to align itself with Your plans for me today.

Amen.

"Lie to Me"

I was introduced to the series "Lie to Me" on Friday, and proceeded to watch a number of episodes over the weekend. I tend to get obsessed with series, and this one's particularly thought-provoking. It follows the work of Dr Lightman, who's an expert in reading people through body language, especially micro-expressions. As he says: "the body never lies", and so, case after case, he's able to reveal and unravel the lies of anarchists, murderers, serial rapists, and ordinary citizens.

There was one episode that made a huge impact on me (read: mildly traumatized me). It was about a really good-looking pathological liar who'd trick girls into trusting him. He'd then blind them with acid and rape them. It didn't help my already nervous temperament that a half hour after we stopped watching (read: I actually spent half the episode under a blanket with my fingers in my ears), that the lights went out in the entire neighbourhood. Great irony in retrospect, but it wasn't so funny at the time. Thoughts run wild in the dark - so I started wondering whether I could ever trust anyone ever again. Especially if they were strangers. Good-looking ones. And male.

Fortunately, in the gentle light of the next morning, I was able to laugh a little at myself. Yet, although my slight terror had arisen from my fixation on the one extreme consequence of being lied to, the series as a whole was a sobering reminder of how our interactions daily are so entangled with minor lies and/ or major deceptions. The main message I was left with was that everyone lies - it's just that not everyone gets caught.

Furthermore, the series just confirmed what I'd experienced myself. Human relationships have ruined me. People have betrayed me, intentionally and unintentionally; and now I, like many others, hesitate before I trust someone fully. I no longer trust anyone with the simplicity that I used to when I was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years old etc. [In fact, I kept on mistakenly calling the series "Don't Lie to Me" - an unintentional, but revealing, indication of how I feel about lies and truth.]

What a wonderful happenstance it was to walk into church last night, while I was still pondering all these things, to hear the speaker talk about the trustworthiness of God based on Habakkuk's response in Habakkuk 3. In the face of complete poverty and hardship, Habakkuk iterates that it is in the Lord he will carry on having joy:

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights. (Habakkuk 3:17-19)

How can this be? If you were in the same situation, wouldn't you think that God had betrayed you? I certainly would. I've been mad, angry, confused for less.

But Habakkuk continues to praise God because he remembers who God is, and what He is capable of

LORD, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, LORD.
Repeat them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy. (Habakkuk 3:2)

God has proven Himself over and over again to be trustworthy. Again and again, Habakkuk is reminded how God has previously rescued them from their enemies - and it is this history that comforts him in this confusing time of turmoil and troubles.

Similarly, how amazing is it for us to be able to be in a relationship with a trustworthy God - One who has proven his ultimate trustworthiness through what He has done for us through Jesus's death on the cross! Where other people might let us down/ have let us down, God will never. As Romans exhorts us to remember:

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Just as it is written,
“FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.”
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:32-39)

Amen.

The Selfless Conversationalist

I quite enjoy talking about myself; not so much listening to other people. I tend to interrupt others in their train of thought, because I get impatient to share my thoughts and my ideas. I fill in other people's thoughts and words when they take too long. In short: I'm quite a selfish conversationalist.

God has recently been teaching me how to be more selfless in paying attention to others, instead of bombarding them with me, me, me. For example, I've become good friends with two stutterers, and now I really try to make an effort to not steal words and fill in gaps because for them completing a word can often be a hard-won victory. Another friend and I have been having chats about what it means to be a good conversationalist (and he's got the most phenomenal listening skills, so I reassured him that he's got the hard part of talking right - the listening) and that's been really helpful in reminding myself about what actions are beneficial and helpful in conversation with others.

But I'm not going to lie. It is heavy going being a selfless conversationalist. Listening properly - with careful attention and consideration of someone else's thoughts, engaging so that you can respond to what they're saying and not what you think they're saying - is draining. With all the effort and concentration to listen to someone properly, no wonder people don't bother doing it too often.

But doing it properly can bring such rewards to yourself and to your conversation partner, there really is no point in not working on it. And I believe that listening properly to others in a world that doesn't listen at all can be such a picture of grace :)

Adoption info session in August

I've been thinking about adoption for a few years now (even though I'm waaaaaaaay not responsible enough to be having any kids for a while!) and for some reason, I've been telling everyone lately that I want to have an orphanage by the age of 30, or I want to have adopted someone :).

The reason I'm superexcited right now is 'cause I just saw a poster today that on August 17 there's going to be an adoption day info and thinking-through session in Cape Town. If you're interested and wanna come with, drop me an email!

the Rapture and Harold Camping

I don't really want to rehash anything about the failed materialization of the Rapture on May 21 as predicted by Harold Camping, a radio presenter and preacher in America. If you like'd to know more, you just need to google those keywords.

But this - this is what I wanted to share: the morning after the world didn't end.

It's an article and photos by someone who claims to be the first journalist to talk to Mr Camping after the event. And the sad thing is, it's evident that Harold Camping didn't create this prophecy maliciously - he really believed in it. Just like his followers.

How tragically sad, to believe so earnestly in something. Yet, it's so evident that it doesn't matter how sincerely you believe something - you can be sincerely wrong..

"Home is home" - just an anecdote

Carin and I were at Panarottis last night (yum yum), where a very friendly waitor served us. The place was quiet, so he was able to spend time chatting every now and then instead of moving off to other tables.

Out of curiosity, I asked him where he came from. The answer: "Zimbabwe". He'd been here for the last three years.

I'm become increasingly curious about people's attachment to their home countries since I'll be heading elsewhere at the end of the year, so I asked: "Do you miss it?"

"Yes," he said, his big smile fading, and a sadness dropping over his eyes. His voice softened. "Yes. I'm just here to make money. As soon as I have enough, I'll go back... Home is home."

His homesickness was so palpable, I couldn't stop thinking about him as I walked out of the restaurant later. "Maybe", I said to Carin, grasping on straws, "we could've given him a bigger tip so he has more money so he can get back home quicker."

Carin's response brought his sadness into perspective for us as Christians: "Just seeing him like that is just such a strong reminder of how we should also be, you know, as Christians: aliens and strangers in this world. Missing home. This isn't it."

"Home is home". And this Earth isn't it. Remember that as you're faced with difficulties and troubles today.

life.death

Tonight, the preacher started by asking us to turn to a friend to discuss what we'd be living for if we didn't have faith.

The friend I was sitting next to is reasonably pedantic at times - so am I - so we spent the first few seconds being confused by the question: surely everyone lived by faith in something, even if it wasn't God? Then, somehow, we ended up re-interpreting his question as "what we'd be doing right now if we weren't at church".

My friend's response: "Well, I'd be dead."
Me: "Really?"
My friend: "Yes. I know myself. I'd have killed myself a long time ago."

It was a humbling moment of honesty - one I could identify with.

I'd had suicidal thoughts throughout my teenage years - anger, frustration, despair drove me at times to wonder what it'd be like to leave this world and its hurts, anguish and pain behind. I have one especially clear memory of a tumultuous evening in grade 11, when death seemed particularly enticing. I thought about it more seriously than I ever had, going through various options and trying to figure out which method was easiest (and cheapest!).

But for some reason, something said inside me: "NO. There's something more to life. Don't." A switch seemed to turn on inside me, and suddenly thoughts of death no longer seemed an option. I'd never before felt such a strong conviction that this would be a terrible mistake.

A few months later, I gave my life to Jesus. I wasn't expecting Him to be the answer - I already thought I was a Christian.

But since then, death has no longer been an option - whether I bring it upon myself physically, or, as an inevitable consequence of my spiritual rebellion and sin.

My friend's answer reminded me how some people, like myself, have been given life by Jesus multiple times: at birth as a baby, at birth as a Christian, and in saving myself from myself.

So if I stand, let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You

- Jars of Clay "If I stand"

[thanks to Marcus for the song lyrics]

God's love...

I can't brag about my love for God because I fail Him daily, but I can brag about His love for me because it never fails.

- Owl City (yip, the pop act) via his Twitter

God's been saying a lot to me lately about His love for me. I must ponder these things, but I will write again.

The Weight of Glory

I've just finished reading C. S. Lewis' essay "The Weight of Glory", and all I can say is... Wow. God really gifted him with insight and with writing ability.

I've included the link above, so while you click on it and open up the PDF, I leave you with some winning quotes :)

If you asked twenty good men to-day what they thought the highest of
the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied, Love.
You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point

we remain conscious of a desire which no natural happiness will satisfy. But is there any reason to suppose that reality offers any satisfaction to it? “Nor does the being hungry prove that we have bread.” But I think it may be urged that this misses the point. A man’s physical hunger does not prove that that man will get any bread; he may die of starvation on a raft in the Atlantic. But surely a man’s hunger does prove that he comes of a race which repairs its body by eating and inhabits a world where eatable substances exist. In the same way, though I do not believe (I wish I did)that my desire for Paradise proves that I shall enjoy it, I think it a pretty good indication that such a thing exists and that some men will.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to
may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted
to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all,
only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one
or other of these destinations.

[Thanks to JP for the link to the PDF :)]

The 4 G's of God

Truths to hold on to in face of deceitful lies and sin's temptation:

God is great - so we do not have to be in control.
God is good - so we do not have to look elsewhere.
God is glorious - so we do not have to fear others.
God is gracious - so we do not have to prove ourselves. *

Two ways to respond to temptation:

First we need to nurture our trust in God's greatness, fear of God's glory, delight in God's goodness, longing for God's future, rest in God's grace.We need to do this day by day through the word, prayer and the Christian community [...].

Second, when we face temptation we need to say not only 'I should not do this', but also 'I need not do this'.
[...]
To say to temptation I must not do this' is legalism. To say 'I need not do this because God is bigger and better' is good news. *

The last poin reminds me of something I wrote yesterday: "If you've spent your life following the god of the air, giving into your sinful desires and commands, to find yourself in the land of the light as a child of God is a complete surprise. How does one act then? If, for instance, you've given in to anger consistently, answering someone gently might not even enter your mind. And what would gentle look like anyway?" [see post here]

It's so refreshing being told: Hey, you don't NEED to react the way you always have! There's ANOTHER way of responding!

So do it. Choose Jesus; Choose Life.

* all quotes from Tim Chester's You Can Change

Calvinism and the arts

"It is the vocation of art, not merely to observe everything visible and audible, to apprehend it, and reproduce it artistically, but much more to discover in those natural forms the order of the beautiful, and, enriched by this higher knowledge, to produce a beautiful world that transcends the beautiful of nature. And this is what Calvin asserted: viz., that the arts exhibit gifts which God has placed at our disposal, now that, as the sad consequence of sin, the real beautiful has fled from us."

Kuyper - on Calvinism and the arts

[Many thanks to Sam Groves, patient man, who typed that out for me in an email. Follow him and his wife's blog here. Sarah writes the coolest stuff :) And they have many kids, one of them named JEDI. 'Nuff said.]

a word to brothers and to love

I look up to and respect the Brother like very few other men, even people. In fact, I've said to Princess S before that I will marry the guy who I respect more than my brother; that I will know this hypothetical guy is a keeper if I turn to him ultimately for help instead of my brother.

Part of the reason for my admiration is because of his love for Jesus. He's been a great witness to me and the Sister, always guiding, correcting, rebuking and looking after us. Not only this, he's a great example in his active service of others - doing thoughtful little servant-hearted things that people quite often take for granted. Jesus has completely shaped and changed his life, which is evident from the way he challenges himself and his thinking when it's not in line with the Bible's teachings.

Sure, he's got his faults. I used to tune him a when we were younger about him not listening to other people's sides of things, and not really being gracious in response to errors - he tends to be quite hard.core-. God is changing him, however, and he is also eager to grow.

You can imagine then, how shattering it would be if one of his beloved sisters were to decide to stop being a Christian. I hadn't really thought of the effect on him when I sent out an email with a link to my post entitled 24 April 2011: The night I decided not to be a Christian anymore - Part 1.

He received the email, but had to dash off without reading my post. What I will never forget, though, are his final words to me before he walked out of the door: "Grace, whatever it is you've decided; remember, I still love you."

Even though the post wasn't what he thought it would be, I was completely overwhelmed by his words of love. And then I realized this was because I'd just experienced first hand how God treats human beings and sin: to hate what we do as sinners, but to love who we are as human beings.

My walk is not your walk, but is God's

A friend just responded to my latest posts via email:

Who is this new author of What about Grace? I don't recognize her from the one I knew last year :)
It's very encouraging and I praise and thank God for it!
Do you remember its about a year and a half ago we both started out with "You can change" - you have changed :)

I can't tell you how pleased I was to hear this. I'd been thinking this morning I hadn't really changed much; in fact, it felt like I was struggling more. After reading this email though, I had to reassess myself and have come to the conclusion: I definitely feel more settled, more confident in God's ability to run my life, and more comfortable about trusting Him than I have in a long time. Last year, I felt like John Mayer's heroine, "walkin' like a one man army/ fighting all the shadows in my head". Now, I'm still fighting, but it's more like a four man army.*

This incident reminded me of something I read a few weeks ago. [I paraphrase now because said friend is borrowing the book.] The author contrasts different types of the Christian walk, and points out: "Some people appear to be ever consistent, progressing steadily in godliness. Others seem to have patches of nothing interspersed with periods of phenomenal growth. Everyone is different."

[Something like that. I'll type it out in full in one of the comments once I get the book back.]

Point is, when I read that, for the first time I realized I might not be the former type as I'd always thought a good Christian should be. And that it was okay.

Sometimes there are stretches where it's hard, painful. There are stretches where I don't read anything or pray, and I want to withdraw and I want to give up. There are stretches where it's easy to be God's child, where I gobble up solid Christian book after another, and have a great phat chat with God throughout the day. Both these stretches are okay, 'cause God is in control. And everyone's path is different.

I'm not saying that we should renounce responsibility for maintaining our relationship with God. This is rather me saying that I've learnt that I need to let go and to trust God with His plan for my life.

Who knows, maybe the rest of the year is going to end up being as severe a drought like last year (where, interestingly, the number of blog posts was also indicative of the amount of time I had for God). God only knows.

But whatever happens, it's for my good. 'Cause He, not me, is in ultimate charge of my growth plan.

*Me, Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. They love a good fight.

LGE11

Today is Local General Elections Voting Day in South Africa :) I'm SUPERstoked even though I can't vote.

Praise God for His kindness towards this country - 20 years ago, safe and democratic elections would've been considered the pipedreams of lunatics.

Happy Voting :)

fruit of the Spirit: a thought on mentoring

Am I the only one who reads through the passage about the fruit of the Spirit love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, and wonders: But what does that all mean? What does it mean to be loving? To be kind? To be gentle? To be faithful?

Theoretically, I've got it all down pat. Practically, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing.

I used to answer myself with the thought that I must be all these things like Jesus. But I soon came to realize that unlike Jesus, I can't show love by producing enough loaves to feed 5000 people, I can't die on the cross for them, I can't spend three years teaching and preaching. Sure, in some ways, I will be caring for others, telling them about cross, and sacrificially giving myself up for people, but my acts of grace, kindness, love, sacrifice, will be far smaller, simpler acts. My acts of grace, kindness, love, sacrifice will also take place in a context far from the Ancient Middle East, and this might call me to do things Jesus never did himself. After all, like Edgar Watson Howe wrote: "A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around".

I further came to realize that my past life hadn't prepared me for life as a child of God. If you've spent your life following the god of the air, giving into your sinful desires and commands, to find yourself in the land of the light as a child of God is a complete surprise. How does one act then? If, for instance, you've given in to anger consistently, answering someone gently might not even enter your mind. And what would gentle look like anyway?

This is where God's people can step in to be an example or actively correct you, if needed. [Obviously, it's only God who can change you, but for the purpose of this post, I want to talk about people's responsibilities in modelling that change.]

Sometimes, I do something and people say 'Oh, that was kind' [Hooray, I say, I now have an example of what 'kind' is.] Sometime, I do something and people say 'Oh, that was harsh' [Sorry, I say, I didn't realize - and then I go ponder why it was unkind.]. Sometimes people don't say anything to me, but to each other, and from their reactions to each other I see what kind and gentle etc is.

We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night, and those who get drunk get drunk at night. But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
- 1 Thessalonians 1:5-11

Thank you to those who have been modelling and correcting me :)

I am a rude BB owner

And in the spirit of taking the moral higher ground, which I do quite often, I get quite offended when other people are texting away on their cellphones in front of me, but it's all perfectly okay when I do it. In fact, I think I probably imagine I'm invisible as soon as I turn my attention to my phone - that can only be the real reason why I let myself do it, when I get so irritated when others do it to me ;)

Here's a great, thought-provoking article on how the increase of digital devices is affecting our manners and politeness: Bad Manners Masquerading as Media.

I particularly found this point about 'Digital Courage' helpful...

There are some things we do in life that are just plain difficult. They require courage; they cannot be easily avoided or delegated. A constant temptation we face, especially in an age of pervasive mediated communication, is to do in mediated form what ought to be done face to face (or to do by text message what ought to be done by phone). We can probably all think of times that we have chosen to communicate via email or text message what we should have said directly.

Ultimately, though, I'm not 100% against having cellphones kept out of conversations. Like Ecclesiastes says: There's a time and a place for everything.

Self-control and grace

I'm re-reading Tim Chester's book You Can Change, and I've been struck again by his insistence that only Jesus can ultimately change us.

It's been my experience, however, that I quite often end up forgetting this, like Tim Chester points out:

It seems that our first instinct when we want to change is to do something. We think activity will change us. We want a list of do's and dont's. (p.47)

Whenever I want to get something done, my first instinct is to do something RIGHTNOW. If I can't do something about it RIGHTNOW, I get antsy and start drawing up lists and plans, preparing for that moment of RIGHTNOW when I can do something. [Anal, much? Yes.]

Yet, if a recent study in TIME is anything to go by, it appears that there's evidence suggesting that self-control will never get us anywhere:

The prevailing theory is that because self-control is a finite resource, when you deplete it — say by consistently choosing carrots over cupcakes or by refraining from splurging at the shoe store — you're less likely to be able to control urges toward anger or aggression when they arise at inappropriate times.

Then why do we keep on persisting with our little rituals and rules? This, Tim Chester suggests is due to an error in cause and effect. Behaviour doesn't correct behaviour. Heart corrects behaviour:

Our rituals might change our behaviour for a while, but they can't change our hearts. (p.48)

So what now, hey, Tim Chester, what now??

The answer is simple: Stop relying on rules and legalism to change your heart, when you should be loving Jesus more and more so that your heart's desires change focus. He puts it far more eloquently than me, though:

In Greek mythology, the Sirens would sing enchanting songs, drawing sailors irresistibly towards the rocks and certain shipreck. Odysseus filled his crew's ears with wax and had him tie him to the mast. This is like the approach of legalism. We bind ourselves up with laws and disciplines in vain attempt to resist temptation. Orpheus, on the other hand, played such beautiful music on his harp that his sailors ignored the seductions of the Siren song. This is the way of faith. The grace of the gospel sings a far more glorious song than the enticements of sin, if only we have the faith to hear its music. (p.64/65)

--
See previous posts from here onward.

One last post to the actors out there from an almost-one

Today, I got asked whether I wanted to be a female lead in an indie full-length feature film being shot in Cape Town in July. They needed an Asian South African.. I am an Asian South African. But what about my lack of acting experience? No, no, not to worry, I was told.

Oooh yeah, I love a good adventure; I love a new adventure; I love a random adventure. Never mind the fact I've never acted before in my life (as Jeff-pop later asked: "Not even a school play?" "No." "Not even a little play at church?" "No".)

But, indie, a voice whispered in my head; it's basically a synonym for SNL nowadays. I started reading the script, and yip, there it was. Not that it was gratuitous; not that there was even a lot of it; but it was very real. After all, my character was married and in a relationship with someone else. A stark representation of the mundanity of life, intertwined as my story was with the story of another couple - and it'd be something I'd ordinarily be quite interested in watching. I'm the first to say that as Christians we need to be engaging in the realness of the world; I'm the first to say that as Christian artists we should be portraying the fallenness of humanity, but now having to consider myself in the position of someone actually acting this out, I suddenly started thinking about the job of an actor in a much more sober light.

It must be really really really hard being a Christian actor or actress, having to navigate the fine-line between reality and fiction. It must be really really really hard balancing the Christian call to be a light, yet to be a good actor in the roles you take upon to reflect a fallen world.

Kudos to you - I don't know any, sadly - but if you are one, tonight, I'll be praying for you.

Sleeptime thought

Gospel Implications: Because Jesus is your righteousness; fret less, pretend less, strive less, doubt less, sleep better

- Scotty Ward Smith (via his Twitter)

The Admin Lady

We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

- Romans 5:3-4

Doesn't that sound nice? YES, let's face suffering with courage because we know that it's only going to make us more like Jesus!

But sometimes, you realize it only sounds nice in theory - especially when you're facing heaps of admin, you'd rather the suffering was facing someone else.

There are some people who are gifted at admin and who love it. There're some people who are gifted at admin and who abhor it. There're some people who neither enjoy admin nor at gifted at it. You either want to be Type 1 ('cause then you'll love what you do), or Type 3 ('cause then no-one expects you to do your own admin or theirs).

Unfortunately, I'm type 2. Which means I quite often get volunteered into admin.

Yesterday, I found myself sitting with a lot of admin. Great. Lots of nitty-gritty emails to be sent out - stuff that I'd been avoiding for ages. I foresaw the whole day being spent in from of the computer *sadness*

But I decided to change my attitude, and be excited for this opportunity to practise my perseverance. There was a lot of prayer involved, but soon I felt quite pleased about exercising my admin muscle.

I felt so chuffed with my attitude, I tweeted the following:

Hate cold-calling. But. Good practise for my patience and overall calmness :)

.

Two seconds later, a friend of mine messaged me about our trip to England, a bit down in the dumps about all our upcoming admin: "Cellphone stuff. Shipping of personal belongings. Banktasks. Calculating of finances.. Great stuff. Not even to mention VISAs."

Have I mentioned previously how God enjoys irony?

Sin and grace

When I was younger, I used to be far more judgemental about other people's sin. It came from an arrogant mistakenness about my own levels of super-humanness, really. And because God shielded me with his strength, I suppose, only allowing me to endure what a baby Christian could endure.

But nowadays, having fallen so often and at the most ridiculous things, I instead think to myself "There for the grace of God I go."

There is a story to this - there are many stories to this - but this is not the time and place. This is just a reminder of Ephesians 2:8

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God

.

And it is grace that will keep us. Do not reject His grace today. Amen.

Thought for today

The danger with 'cultural Christianity': it sells Jesus as Savior, without demanding Jesus as Lord.You can't have the one without the other.

- Johan Verster via his Twitter account

I prayed for YOU today

[I might have plagiarised from Paul, but he did say it so nice]

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I hope God blows your mind today with His awesomeness!

On Slavery

My lovely Princess S married her Prince J a few months back, so now they both look out for me :) J sent me a few words of encouragement recently in response to a post I'd written about giving up as a Christian a while back; particularly, my following sentence:

"No matter how much I mess up, it's not up to me to call the shots - the only one who can ever tell me to quit is God. And He never will."

Who wouldda thought the words of encouragement would be on SLAVERY? This is what J had to say:

Last week I had the pleasure of listening to some sermons as I drove around Jo'burg. In one of the messages Tim Keller spent a decent chunk of time defining slavery. Our modern understanding of slavery is largely "race-based African/Indian slavery" which was essentially kidnapping, oppression and abuse (all of which God is clearly against). As we read scripture though, slavery is not always/not necessarily cast in a bad light, because the slavery of the day was very different from now. A slave was not necessarily poor - in fact a person could sell themselves into slavery to better their economic standing! Many slaves owned slaves. Slaves were not distinguishable by their clothing or by markings or by race or any such thing. They could own things, and were essentially managers and stewards of other people's assets, to increase these. They could therefore also manage their own things profitably and sometimes even then buy themselves out of slavery. So, at this point in the sermon, I thought: "What's the difference between a servant and a slave? They sound exactly the same... " In good preaching planning, the next sentence brought up this question and Keller proceeded to address it.

Scripture distinguishes between slaves and servants. Throughout the New Testament, we are described as slaves of [God, Christ, the gospel, each other]. Most English translations soften the word "doulos" to "servant", but that's wrong because it means "slave", and "servant" has its own word. (I'll say "apparently", because I've no knowledge of Greek.)

The difference (The Conclusion I hope will be nutritious) is that a slave can not quit.

At any time, a servant may hand in his resignation and leave on equal terms. But a slave can not quit.

So, you are correct in saying it is not up to you. For us, who have been bought out of slavery to sin (we could not quit that), we are now slaves of Christ. We are to serve (and we are free to serve) Him, and people, according to His command of love. We are not allowed to quit, and we find that this is a great safety and encouragement when we belong to the wisest, most loving and sovereign Master.

I've never been grateful before for being called a slave!

Just a thought

I've been praying a lot recently. It is good with my heart. Now I must actually give God a chance and let Him talk to me through His Word :) There's nothing suckier than being in a relationship with a monologuer ;)

Good day, good day :)

Having a good day. Feeling far more focussed and less frenetic than I have been in a while. Think it's 'cause I had a good chat with God this morning as I was gymming. :) Luckily for me, God hears me wherever I am, whether my eyes are open or not, whether I'm praying out loud or quietly :)

Update

Oh my. So last night I went to bed, having written this post, completely saddened by the current state of the world, the dictators, tyranny, oppression, injustice.

I wake up this morning, and my Twitter's going crazy.

Osama Bin Laden had been killed during the (South African) night.

What a terrifying reminder of God's sovereignty and His justice.

[See some comments on Mark Driscoll's FB page here: "The cheering crowds remind us that justice is glorious & comes ultimately through Jesus cross or hell. Justice wins" and here: Romans 13 "there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God...if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer."]

"the whole creation has been groaning"

I was asked to pray a prayer of intercession tonight at church. Below, some of it:

In the global context, Father, it seems as if every day the list grows longer of countries that are rising up against dictators or oppressive governments. We praise You for having created humans in your image, humans who know the difference between justice and evil, freedom and oppression, but Father, this has led to horrific accounts of violence, deaths, oppression in the Middle East and Africa in countries like Syria, Yemen, Tunisia, Uganda, Cote d’Ivoire, Nigeria, Zimbabwe. We pray for your people in these countries, that they will hold firm to Your Word and to Your Sovereignty, and we pray for Your Will to be done.

Father God, we also pray that people in these contexts and around us will realize that true freedom is only to be found in you, that no matter what they do to fight evil in this lifetime, evil can only be ultimately defeated by what you have done in Jesus. Romans 8 reminds us that “the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.”

In doing prep work on the various countries, I grew increasingly saddened. So many countries on this Guardian.co.uk map, and so many countries mentioned in this Foreign Policy article on the events in THIS WEEK ALONE. I was going to list more in my prayer, then realized that I'd be listing most of the countries in Africa and in the Middle East.

Oh Lord, your creation is moaning.

Works-based Grace (me)

Lady L tells me last night that she's a bit worried - that my latest posts and emails have been sounding like 'do, do, do, do, do, do, do'. She didn't say it as such, but in a 'do, do, do, do' focus it's very easy to slip into a works-based faith.

I've been going through all of my posts in my recent label-tagging frenzy (sorry for anyone whose RSS feed went crazy), and I realize she's right.

So again, like Sophie said, I'm actually really really going to have to just chill, just love Jesus, and be strong in Him and His faithfulness and grace instead of being anxious and overthinking what I can do to deserve being His child. [not that I was consciously thinking this, but yes, in closer examination of my subconscious, I do kinda think that you must do things for people to like you.. so I might be struggling with the concept of grace. I hate it when people do things for me 'cause then I sorta feel like I need to reciprocate to the same amount to cancel out my debt to them.]

Ummm. Hmmm.

This might be harder than I thought.