The Selfless Conversationalist

I quite enjoy talking about myself; not so much listening to other people. I tend to interrupt others in their train of thought, because I get impatient to share my thoughts and my ideas. I fill in other people's thoughts and words when they take too long. In short: I'm quite a selfish conversationalist.

God has recently been teaching me how to be more selfless in paying attention to others, instead of bombarding them with me, me, me. For example, I've become good friends with two stutterers, and now I really try to make an effort to not steal words and fill in gaps because for them completing a word can often be a hard-won victory. Another friend and I have been having chats about what it means to be a good conversationalist (and he's got the most phenomenal listening skills, so I reassured him that he's got the hard part of talking right - the listening) and that's been really helpful in reminding myself about what actions are beneficial and helpful in conversation with others.

But I'm not going to lie. It is heavy going being a selfless conversationalist. Listening properly - with careful attention and consideration of someone else's thoughts, engaging so that you can respond to what they're saying and not what you think they're saying - is draining. With all the effort and concentration to listen to someone properly, no wonder people don't bother doing it too often.

But doing it properly can bring such rewards to yourself and to your conversation partner, there really is no point in not working on it. And I believe that listening properly to others in a world that doesn't listen at all can be such a picture of grace :)