words, words, words

As someone who's been trained in the literary discipline, words are a natural fascination. Add to this, the emphasis laid upon words in the Christian faith: God spoke the world into being, God who talks to us through His Word, the Bible, and His Son who preached, and we, His people, communicate and build relationships through words.

K. Myers' words are thus quite provocative/ concerning/ interesting...

A culture that is rooted more in images than in words will find it increasingly difficult to sustatin any broad commitment to any truth, since truth is an abstraction requiring language.
- K. Myers

Thoughts?

Idolatry, and human pride

I like people. A lot. Unfortunately, this means that every now and then I really really really care about what people think of me. Although I'm a reasonably independent ninja, deep down inside, at the most inopportune moments, there's a little voice going "What would people think?". Or, "Yay, people think I'm cool - I must be".

Isaiah's got a helpful reminder about people's place in humanity. Sure, human beings were created to be lord over the earth, but this is under God's ultimate Lordship.

22 Stop trusting in mere humans,
who have but a breath in their nostrils.
Why hold them in esteem?

Isaiah 2:22

Similarly, Isaiah reminds us of the foolishness of worshipping idols, reminding us clearly that all idols are man-made.

20 In that day people will throw away
to the moles and bats
their idols of silver and idols of gold,
which they made to worship.

Isaiah 2:30

Why worship createds when you can worship the Creator?

Easier said than done, though.

From Calvin's Institutes. Read, and be awed.

Institutes II.xvi.19

When we see that the whole sum of our salvation, and every single part of it, are comprehended in Christ, we must beware of deriving even the least portion of it from any other quarter. If we seek salvation, we are taught by the very name of Jesus that he possesses it; if we seek any other gifts of the Spirit, we shall find them in his anointing; strength in his dominion; purity in his conception; gentleness in his nativity, in which he was made like us in all respects, in order that he might learn to sympathise with us: if we seek redemption, we shall find it in his passion; acquittal in his condemnation; remission of the curse in his cross; satisfaction in his sacrifice; purification in his blood; reconciliation in his descent to hell; mortification of the flesh in his tomb; newness of life in his resurrection; immortality also in his resurrection; the inheritance of a celestial kingdom in his entrance into heaven; protection, security, and the abundant supply of all blessings, in his kingdom; secure anticipation of judgement in the power of judging committed to him. In short, since in him all kinds of blessings are treasured up, let us draw a full supply from him, and none from any other quarter.

Some men, not content with him alone are borne hither and thither from one hope to another, even if they concern themselves chiefly with him, they nevertheless stray from the straight way in turning some part of their thinking in another direction. Yet such distrust cannot creep in where men have once for all truly known the abundance of his blessings

On religion and a relationship with God

One last thought from reading through Isaiah 1:

11 “The multitude of your sacrifices—
what are they to me?” says the LORD.
“I have more than enough of burnt offerings,
of rams and the fat of fattened animals;
I have no pleasure
in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.
12 When you come to appear before me,
who has asked this of you,
this trampling of my courts?
13 Stop bringing meaningless offerings!
Your incense is detestable to me.
New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations—
I cannot bear your worthless assemblies.
14 Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals
I hate with all my being.
They have become a burden to me;
I am weary of bearing them.
15 When you spread out your hands in prayer,
I hide my eyes from you;
even when you offer many prayers,
I am not listening.

- Isaiah 1:11-15

God SO clearly hates religion and seeks a relationship with Him, He, Himself. Look at all the rituals described in the first few verses - sacrifices, offerings - acts that would've been the markers of 'holy' people back in the day. They're doing okay, right? NO. As God carries on talking, it becomes clear that the Israelites have lost the plot and are indulging in acts of worship of other gods (New Moon feasts etc). And God's not pleased. If it's going to be half-hearted, He don't want no part in it at all.

Isaiah - First Study

So I finally started on Isaiah, using the study guide lent kindly to me by E.

Oh Lord. I almost wept tears all over my Bible. But I didn't. Because I'm hardcore. And I have no tear ducts. Like Chuck Norris.

2 Hear me, you heavens! Listen, earth!
For the LORD has spoken:
“I reared children and brought them up,
but they have rebelled against me.
3 The ox knows its master,
the donkey its owner’s manger,
but Israel does not know,
my people do not understand.”

- Isaiah 1:2-3

Chapter 1 is not the most fun piece of emotional literature I've ever read. I don't know if you've ever spoken to someone, and all of a sudden they just let forth a whole lot of really personal stuff, and you're drawn into empathising with them in an unbelievably vulnerable and 'real' way? Your relationship is never the same afterwards, for you understand so much more about who they are, and why they are the way they are.

Isaiah 1 has always been like that for me. In it, I feel like I really get to see a window of God's emotions and thoughts.

This is not to say that in the NT (or the rest of the Bible), you don't get glimpses of Jesus' realness - you do, e.g. when he cries over Jerusalem, and when he's praying so fiercely in the Garden to have the cup of wrath taken away from him. However, in Isaiah, you get raw chunks of intimate revelations of hurt from a Lover who desperately wants His Beloved to turn back to Him, and Someone who is moved to action to cleanse His City of the corruption that has permeated it. There's a great quote in my study book "human-centeredness has pushed God out of his own city".

But still He loves:

18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
19 If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the good things of the land;
20 but if you resist and rebel,
you will be devoured by the sword.”
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

- Isaiah 1:18-20

Hallelujah.

Tsunamis

I haven't had the heart yet to watch any of the Japanese tsunami footage or look at any of teh photos so far. The thought of looking at so much devastation has crippled any curiosity in me.

I'm watching something this morning, though.

I'm absolutely terrified. Look. Look at the cars, houses, buildings, lives, homes, prefecture, nation just being pulled apart. The water is absolutely sickeningly beautiful in its sheer awesome strength. What a stark reminder of the power of our God - if the water is so terrifying, how much more is a God who can make something like this happen.

And here's another sobering thought: if He said "Be still", the water would be still.

Thesis Shmesis. Acknowledgements

I was reading through Carakind's blog, and giggled at her post about Thesising and Writing Acknowledgements.

Read through mine this morning in prep for a meeting with my supervisor:

The last word of acknowledgement is to Jesus Christ, my Lord God and Saviour, without whom none of this would have been possible. As Source of life and being, and the ultimate Word from whom all words flow, thank You.

[You're right, reading my acknowledgements weren't really necessary for the meeting - it just helps to process the sense of trauma that arises at having to read my thesis again].

But I particularly liked her friend's way of phrasing things (mentioned on her blog):

First and foremost I would like to thank God for all the conversations we had leading up to the completion of this study. Amidst all the loneliness of thesis writing you were there throughout.

Oh yeah. Thesising is tough work. God and I had a lot of good talks too. Mostly, with me on my figurative knees.

Good luck to all you people out there who're suffering, I mean, working very hard.

Amazing grace, names, me

I love this song: Amazing grace (the Chris Tomlin version, in particular).

We sang it last night, after a really good sermon explaining that only Jesus can bring us freedom, and God is NOT the enemy of freedom. Jesus sets us free to be who we are, free from any impossible standards imposed upon us by our parents, friends, peers, society, ourselves.

Helpful truth to be reminded of that I needed. God's got good timing like that.

I like to joke with God that He gave me the name Grace so that my egotistical self never forgets about Him. (Hearing my name a million times during a service also makes sure I pay constant attention to what's happening up front :).) Being named after God's incredibly act of mercy ensures that I never forget what He's done for me in Jesus. Sometimes, my name gets 'old', but then I meet people who aren't accustomed to my name, and their surprise at hearing such a beautiful name reminds me afresh of what meaning my name carries.

Grace. God's Riches/ Redemption At Christ's Expense.

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, My Saviour, has ransomed me

And like a flood, His mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing grace

a sense of hypocrisy

I was telling N on the phone last night about the Rob Bell video, how I was left in a turmoil of fury and intense sadness that this proclaimed representative of Christianity didn't seem to hold to the most essential beliefs.

But as I carried on talking, I realized that underlying the intensity of my emotions was a sense of deep hypocrisy, a sense of fury at myself.

I told N: At least he's open and honest. What am I doing? I know the Jesus of the Bible, and I claim to be following Him, but I'm not even reading His Word, or making any attempts at building and deepening our relationship. At least Rob Bell, misguided as some of his teachings appear, is doing something.

What is knowledge, after all, when it translates to nothing?

The Guilty Conscience Speaks

Over the last few weeks, E, a good friend, has been trying to talk to me more about Jesus, particularly since our chats where I told him that I was struggling to read God's Word.

He lent me a book in Isaiah studies on Thursday, on condition that I read it in two weeks and spend a good solid few hours dwelling on what it's got to say about God. [Okay, okay, the deal was that I spend two of my best hours of the day on a study each time.] [I didn't want to share that, 'cause that'd mean that you'd be able to keep me accountable.] [So far, I've read about 30 minutes of Isaiah.] [To be fair, I read faster than the average Joe.][Excuses.] [Anyway.]

On the one hand, I'm really grateful that he's looking out for me in this way. Because I move between so many different circles, I can slip between the cracks if I so wish. And somewhere, a niggling voice is telling me that my relationship with God's Word shouldn't be in the state it currently is, so to have his active intervention is kinda a relief, an ultimatum of sorts.

On the other hand, I'm slightly irritated. I've had thoughts of defensiveness and rationalization ever since our discussions: "I really don't know why he's so concerned that I read this. It's not like I'm not a Christian. It's not like I'm not talking to God. Puhleease, I'm like a mature follower of Christ".

I've been intrigued by these thoughts - Why do I see his helpfulness as an accusation, rather than support? Why am I trying to assuage a guilty conscience with talk of "I'm fine, I'm fine?"

If anything, I've finally realized that my attitude is a strong indicator of the necessity of me plunging back into the Word.

You say, God says

YOU SAY	GOD SAYS	BIBLE VERSES
You say: 'It's impossible'	God says: All things are possible	(Luke 18:27)
You say: 'I'm too tired'	God says: I will give you rest	(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: 'Nobody really loves me'	God says: I love you	(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: 'I can't go on'	God says: My grace is sufficient	(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: 'I can't figure things out'	God says: I will direct your steps	(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: 'I can't do it'	God says: You can do all things	( Philippians 4:13)
You say: 'I'm not able'	God says: I am able	(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: 'It's not worth it'	God says: It will be worth it	(Roman 8:28 )
You say: 'I can't forgive myself'	God says: I Forgive you	(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: 'I can't manage'	God says: I will supply all your needs	( Philippians 4:19)
You say: 'I'm afraid'	God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear	(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'	God says: Cast all your cares on ME	(I Peter 5:7)
You say: 'I'm not smart enough'	God says: I give you wisdom	(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: 'I feel all alone'	God says: I will never leave you or forsake you	(Hebrews 13:5)

The Parable of the Sower

³ “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed.⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”

[Jesus explaining:] ¹⁴ The farmer sows the word. ¹⁵ Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. ¹⁶ Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. ¹⁷ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ¹⁸ Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; ¹⁹ but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²⁰ Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

Mark 4: 3-8

Last night we dealt with Mark 4's the Parable of the Sower.

Confession time: This parable scares me because it shows me what I could still become, what I could fall to be.

I know that I'm not Soil #1 (the unaccepting path) because I've accepted Christ.

I want to be Soil #4, someone who will produce lots of crop.

But I could still fall and be Soil #2, the rock who loses the seed because of persecution.

Even more scarily, Soil #3, where there's no active persecution, but rather a drifting away due to other interests, other idols, other loves.

Time will tell.

Insiders/ Outsiders, Belonging, Church

The number of Bible Studies I've been to this year have been minimal so far, though I'm still a regular Sunday attender. A number of things have come up on a Thursday, cycling things (oh yes, I've started cycling - more about that later), Toastmasters (yip, joined that too this year), so last night was my second time.

It's a bit weird, being so infrequent with my .. for lack of a word... visitations. Every so often at Sunday church, I feel like everyone's growing up without me. Friendships are formed through weekly and daily experiences, and as one of the 'older' ones, bumping into people between classes, or randomly in our food mall is a rare occurrence. It makes me feel a little detached at times, but gratefully so - I feel that I've served my time in many ways and it's good to know that things are functioning fine without me and will carry on like that when I leave.

Back to last night.

We started with some shared experiences about when situation where you'd felt like an outsider. A bit ironic in light of my confession before. The experience I shared, however, was one that never left me: I went to an Afrikaans church when I was younger. I clearly didn't fit in - struggled with the language, came in shorts and T-shirts (my mom heartily tried her best with me) when all the other girls were in pretty lady-like dresses.

No-one befriended me.

I'm sure they tried, but after so many times struggling with linguistic differences, there's only so much you can do. I probably wasn't the happiest of campers then, anyway.

But last night, while we were sitting there sharing our stories, and then studying the Word together, I was reminded that this is what church is about: belonging and acceptance.

Rob Bell and MSNBC

Yowzer... Burnt, baby, burnt.

Watch Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill Church on MSNBC. It's a pity for him that the host is a Christian who evidently knows his scripture better than Rob does.

I get so sad when 'Christians' preach that Christianity doesn't matter. And I'm super-impressed at how the host is so clear and firm about the way that Bell is mishandling God's Word.

Free grace

Noun, not verb. I don't need freeing.

Or, no, maybe I do.

I'm still thinking me me me, do do do so much, when I should be thinking Jesus Jesus Jesus, done done done.

I love this explanation by Tim Keller about what the actual implications of grace:

"Consider the free grace of Jesus until there is (a) no cowardly avoidance of hard things (since Jesus faced evil for me), (b) no anxious or rash behaviour (since Jesus' death proves God cares & will watch over me). It takes pride to be anxious - I am not wise enough to know how my life should go. Consider free grace until I experience calm thoughtfulness and strategic boldness."

Yeah, no more cowardlyness! No more anxiety and rashness. Let's be real trusting children of God.

Marriage, and the sanctity

Let me get this straight...Charlie Sheen can make a "porn family", Kelsey Grammer can end a 15 year marriage over the phone, Larry King can be on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE. Yet, the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really?

Stole this off a friend's FB page. Think the point is arguing for same-sex marriage, but all I can see is how people have completed trashed the sanctity of marriage. No wonder less and less marriages are taking place - who'd want to, with examples like this?

confession time

The last few months haven't been going well in terms of my walk with Christ. I can't remember the last time I read the Bible by myself. I'd say it's 'cause of being so busy (which it was - oh hell, August, September, October, November were insane, and December, January were spent recovering), but you know, priorities should remain priorities. God is gracious in that even though I'm not upholding my side of the relationship (i.e., listening to Him talk), I know He's still listening to all my selfish thoughts. He's kind like that.

Praise Him for His enduring patience and kindness.

I wish this post was me saying Okay, I'm ready to start reading the Bible again by myself, but it's not quite that. It's just a recognition of my sinfulness and fallibility. Confession time.

A few quotes that have been on my mind lately:

"What we want is not more books about Christianity, but more books by Christians on other subjects" - CS Lewis

‎"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi.

"God does not expect me to do more than I can." - For Christians who try to take on more than they can manage in the name of Christ.

Fingerprints of God

What started my re-discovery of Steven Curtis Chapman was a hunt for a particular song of his called "Fingerprints of God".

A friend and I had been chatting about stereotypes- and all of a sudden, she confided that she felt really ugly as everyone teased her about being a ginger. One guy had gone so far as to say that she would never ever be more than a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10 because she was a redhead.

It. Blew. Me. Away.

She is absolutely gorgeous, and has this phenomenal shock of golden brown/ ginger hair. Part of her beauty comes from her being taller and more built than the average girl her age - more striking, more bold - but I've heard from numerous other girls before that being tall doesn't make life easier as a girl, so I suppose this is something of an insecurity for her.

I'd forgotten what it's like when you're younger to be so completely at the mercy of what other people think of you. I mean, I still struggle now, but I remember now that when I was younger, it used to be so much worse. What people thought, really mattered. And the song by Steven Curtis Chapman was like salve on an open wound - as he sang about how beautiful the girl was that he was singing to, because she showed the fingerprints of God as a beautiful and marvelous creation, I was reminded and comforted that no matter how ugly I felt, our God, loving Father, does not make mistakes.

Listen here: Steven Curtis Capman - Fingerprints of God

Steven Curtis Chapman - Speechless

I've rediscovered Steven Curtis Chapman's Speechless today.

I used to listen to it over and over again when I first got to know Jesus. It was playing at Crossword, the camp where I gave my life to the Lord, as filler - music between sessions. As soon as I got off camp, I went and bought the CD and proceeded to play this one over and over again.

Happy memories :)

Listen:

Words fall like drops of rain.
My lips are like clouds.
I've said so many things, trying to figure You out.
But as mercy opens my eyes, and my words are stolen away.
With this breathtaking view of your grace...

And I am Speechless
I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by Your wondrous grace.
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am Speechless
In Your presence now.
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us a love that leaves us speechless.