Driving home stream-of-consciousness.

While driving home from a lovely evening with the girls in the Young Working Adults' Bible Study home, I switched on the radio to hear one of my favourite songs:

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
- Green Day "Wake me up when September ends"

The lyrics saddened me. One month to go, and I'll be out of here. Gone.

But then the next song came on, one of South Africa's favourite rock bands, Plush, with their song 'Hope'

No I’m not going to lose hope today,
'Cause I'm one step closer,
to where I want to be.
No, I'm not going to lose hope today,
Though it's easy to
nothing good comes easy anyway.

It's not at all an answer to my sadness, but it's comforting knowing that taking another step forward takes me further than I was yesterday. Don't think it meant to, but the song just reminded me to trust and obey, and to hope. So sad I'll be, but no despair.

Obsession

David Crowder - Obsession

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being?
Is it the wind that moves the trees?
Sometimes You're further than the moon;
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns... for You

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn, Lord, and I'm longing to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

How great Thou art!

You might not see him, because he is so small, but on the shore stands a man. A monk, to be exact.

I don't think we're meant to notice him.

He is not the focal point. In fact, he's looking away from us, towards the beauty of the elements, of the nature around him; and in so doing guides our own vision toward the enormity, the grandeur and the overwhelming beauty of the sky and the sea.

Moreover, we're told that he is a monk in the title of the picture. I like to think he's contemplating how the things he sees are such gripping reflections of One he cannot yet see. I like to imagine he knows God personally, and he's able to direct his praise to the One who has created all.

I love this picture especially, because it reminds me of who I am before God: nothing. In comparison to His eternal character and being, I am just a person who once upon a time for a splitsecond of an eternity stood upon a beach somewhere, in awe.

And then, I want to sing :)

O Lord my God! when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When through the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow in humble adoration,
And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

PS I found this picture somewhere, on someone's website some time ago. I don't know what the name or the title is anymore. I'm sorry.

Jesus' blood never failed me yet

I'm feeling a little homesick tonight, hearkening to a home I don't really know, but hope and pray for.

Gavin Bryar's Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet (link to Wikipedia page here).

It's very simple - a clip of a homeless man singing the simple chorus "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet" that is gradually overlaid with instrumental tracks. It's very long (it unfolds slowly over 25 minutes), but a few verses are enough to be reminded of the simple truth:

Jesus' blood never failed me yet

Never failed me yet
Jesus' blood never failed me yet

This one thing I know
that He loves me so

[Watch/listen to the Tom Waits version here]

God is good. All the time.

A little musical interlude

One of my favourite songs from Equip: 'You are the Everlasting God' - Chris Tomlin

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord (repeat)

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint, You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

I run to You

This isn't a Christian song (not that I know of), but I'm hijacking it today.

Lady Antebellum's I Run To You

I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists, but I run too late
I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems

When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you

We run on fumes, your life and mine
Like the sands of time slippin' right on through
And our love's the only truth
That's why I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you

Whoa, oh, I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you, I run to you, yeah

Amazing grace, names, me

I love this song: Amazing grace (the Chris Tomlin version, in particular).

We sang it last night, after a really good sermon explaining that only Jesus can bring us freedom, and God is NOT the enemy of freedom. Jesus sets us free to be who we are, free from any impossible standards imposed upon us by our parents, friends, peers, society, ourselves.

Helpful truth to be reminded of that I needed. God's got good timing like that.

I like to joke with God that He gave me the name Grace so that my egotistical self never forgets about Him. (Hearing my name a million times during a service also makes sure I pay constant attention to what's happening up front :).) Being named after God's incredibly act of mercy ensures that I never forget what He's done for me in Jesus. Sometimes, my name gets 'old', but then I meet people who aren't accustomed to my name, and their surprise at hearing such a beautiful name reminds me afresh of what meaning my name carries.

Grace. God's Riches/ Redemption At Christ's Expense.

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, My Saviour, has ransomed me

And like a flood, His mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing grace

Fingerprints of God

What started my re-discovery of Steven Curtis Chapman was a hunt for a particular song of his called "Fingerprints of God".

A friend and I had been chatting about stereotypes- and all of a sudden, she confided that she felt really ugly as everyone teased her about being a ginger. One guy had gone so far as to say that she would never ever be more than a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10 because she was a redhead.

It. Blew. Me. Away.

She is absolutely gorgeous, and has this phenomenal shock of golden brown/ ginger hair. Part of her beauty comes from her being taller and more built than the average girl her age - more striking, more bold - but I've heard from numerous other girls before that being tall doesn't make life easier as a girl, so I suppose this is something of an insecurity for her.

I'd forgotten what it's like when you're younger to be so completely at the mercy of what other people think of you. I mean, I still struggle now, but I remember now that when I was younger, it used to be so much worse. What people thought, really mattered. And the song by Steven Curtis Chapman was like salve on an open wound - as he sang about how beautiful the girl was that he was singing to, because she showed the fingerprints of God as a beautiful and marvelous creation, I was reminded and comforted that no matter how ugly I felt, our God, loving Father, does not make mistakes.

Listen here: Steven Curtis Capman - Fingerprints of God

Steven Curtis Chapman - Speechless

I've rediscovered Steven Curtis Chapman's Speechless today.

I used to listen to it over and over again when I first got to know Jesus. It was playing at Crossword, the camp where I gave my life to the Lord, as filler - music between sessions. As soon as I got off camp, I went and bought the CD and proceeded to play this one over and over again.

Happy memories :)

Listen:

Words fall like drops of rain.
My lips are like clouds.
I've said so many things, trying to figure You out.
But as mercy opens my eyes, and my words are stolen away.
With this breathtaking view of your grace...

And I am Speechless
I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by Your wondrous grace.
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am Speechless
In Your presence now.
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us a love that leaves us speechless.

it's a true word, a hopeful word

A best friend, a good friend, a sibling, a loved one is allowed to say things that other people may not, dare not. J tells me the other day that I've been moaning a lot lately. This is unusual for J - she rarely says anything that touches on the emotional. And I realize she's right. I have, because I'm struggling (with everything, it would seem). My world has shrunk to (my world), and I'm struggling to see God for the brackets around my eyes. I say, 'Sorry'. She says 'It's okay. You don't always have to be the strong, positive one.'

A best friend, a good friend, a sibling, a loved one, is allowed to hold out hope in ways that other people shy away from, are slow to. She sends me this song after:

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

- Tenth Avenue North 'You are more'

Somewhere over the rainbow

As I'm typing this, Ingrid Michaelson's busy singing Somewhere over the rainbow, and as I listen to the words, I think back to the last time I saw a rainbow. It was a giant of a stunner, stretching from the bottom of a mountain range to end up plonk in the sea.

What a beautiful day that'd been. I'd left the house at 7:00, no easy feat in the autumn days that are slowly turning into winter. Even worse - it'd started raining just as I hopped into the car. But as I drove along the winding road that would eventually lead me alongside a beautiful beach and a wind-swept sea, the rain gradually came to a halt, and the sun peeked out its shy head. And then, right in front of me, stretched the rainbow.

I'd had to slow down, lest I accidentally crash into the truck in front of me as I looked here and there, trying to see the rainbow in all its glory. Yay for God's reminders of His goodness and faithfulness :)

Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you—the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you—every living creature on earth. I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind.

- Genesis 9:8-15

Loving God isn't always easy

but sometimes Pop Songs speak Truth...

Cheryl Cole's song 'Fight for this love' is currently playing on the airwaves, and every time I hear it, I am reminded that...

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for

Not that it's meant to be a Christian song, as such. God just knows that I sometimes need to be reminded of the truth through cultural means :)

[BTB, before I looked up the lyrics, I had heard the last line quoted above as "It's like heaven; it's worth fighting for"... So actually, my version really was tailor-made for me o.O]

Happy Valentine's Day to me :)

So The Brother had told me about this band last year that I HAD to go listen to, and seeing as he doesn't often rave about local bands, I was intrigued. Then we found out that they were having a select pre-CD launch gig on 14 February, and he'd get arrange for five tickets, so that I could invite someone, and that he could invite two. Who else to invite than Princess Sarah? We decided to all meet up at church and head to the concert all together.

There'd been Miscommunications. But this only became clear on the evening. Princess Sarah arrived at church with her Lovely Joe who she thought she'd mentioned would be down here this weekend. I'd misunderstood completely, and thought he wasn't coming down at all. Oh dear. Scanning through the options, I decided to tell her to take my ticket for him, 'cause it would be easier for me to hang around church afterwards with all the other friends (whereas poor Joe would be kinda homeless as he'd driven through with Sarah), and it'd be lovely for them to be able to spend time together. [I'm sounding rather blase about me having to give my ticket away, but I wasn't as unaffected as I sound. I was quite disappointed 'cause I'd been really looking forward to finally spending time with Princess, and was quite curious about the band.]

Anyway. At least I'd come to a solution. I go inside, and head to the back of the church where The Brother is sorting out power point slides. Explaining that he's to give the extra ticket to Joe, I did not expect what he said next. "No, you go. Take my ticket."

My heart is undone by human kindness, and it broke a little (in the best way) at my brother's generosity. He'd really been amped to see them play, and he was the driving force behind us going to see them. Now, here he was, giving his ticket away to me. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yeah, no sure. You go watch them, I've seen them before."

Wow.

And the most wonderful thing is, as I was singing with the congregation during the service, I realized again that my brother isn't just generous 'cause he was born like that. He has become like that because of his love for and obedience to Christ. Having said that, he makes being generous seem really easy in a way that is so encouraging.

Happy Valentine's to me. My brother is the coolest guy I know.

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down:
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Oh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful Cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
Oh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful Cross
All who gather here by grace draw near
And bless Your name

Were the whole realm of Nature mine,
That were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all!


PS I include the above, because that was the last song of the evening.
PPS When we finally got there and set up blankets and pillows on the venue floor (lovely, hey:) ), another friend mentioned that his one friend wasn't coming through anymore, and he'd just told my Brother to come get that ticket. So he got to come after all :) God is generous like that too.

Kings and queens of promise

I don't often do this, but this song's just been running through my head with its intense lyrics speaking of brokenness and futility:

"We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God
Between heaven and hell".

Don't get me wrong, this is not a Christian band. [The bit I quoted now makes it seem so, does it not?] It's just a great song, holding so much of the world's pain in it.

I present to you Thirty Seconds to Mars: 'Kings and Queens'

Let's see how far we can go

Princess Sarah smsed me today, telling me that she'd heard this newish Matchbox Twenty song called 'Let's see how far we've come.' Only, she'd been a little confused and heard it as 'Let's see how far we can go'!

Quite frankly, I'm not quite sure how she managed to fit in that extra syllable in, but I'm sure it's plausible that it slipped in under Rob Thomas' tongue.

But in light of the other posts I've written today, it was a good reminder to me to stop staring transfixed into the past, but to see instead the future and what could be done there. Let us carry to future glory.

It's time to carry on soldiering on.

Putting the Amazing back into Grace

I climbed into the car this morning and put on my favourite CD of the moment... yes, you're right: The one and only Miss Regina Spektor. And as I was driving, her song 'Eet' started playing...

 

"It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song.
You can't believe it; you were always singing along.
It was so easy and the words so sweet.
You can't remember; you try to feel the beat.."

 

And that made me think about the way that we sometimes simply forget about grace. Or rather: how easy it is to forget about what God has done for us through his grace, and what a truly amazing gift it is. We're so aware of this key Christian word and concept that sometimes, just like the person in the song, overexposure to the idea of grace perhaps dulls our consciousness of its magnitude. We forget the words, even though it's our favourite song. I know that I definitely forget at times what it means to be someone who has received grace and still continuously receives grace, and then fall into the trap of thinking that I'm not good enough for God. Or that I'm too good for God. Or that I can do enough to be with God. But that's not true. God's grace is the only way, and all we need.

 

Let's go relearn the words to our favourite song....

 

An example of art used to reveal truth

I'm a big fan of Miss Regina Spektor :) Big, big, big, big, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg. And I have no idea if she's a Christian or not, but these are the thought-provoking words of her latest single: "Laughing With."

"No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else and they hope that they're mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say "We've got some bad new, sir,"
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they're about to choke

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha"

The voice of truth

I'm busy listening to Casting Crowns' The voice of truth, which made me think about ... the voices in your head. I mean, my head. And yours. Ours. Umm. Moving along.

 

Now now, let's be honest: Everyone's got voices in their head, just like everyone's in the habit of talking to themselves every now and then. (Well, I know I am!). But I don't know if this is also the case for you: quite a lot of the time, the voices in my head can be pretty negative... and horrible. I remember once I was feeling a bit insecure about approaching a group of really pretty people 'cause the voices were saying "You aren't pretty enough to go talk to them/"You're not good enough to be their friend" in the looks-biased approach that the world seems to suggest is normal. But when I told Princess Sarah about these doubts about my self-worth, she said: "Don't listen to those lies. They are not from God."

And that just hit me. God is not the source of our insecurities, our neuroticisms, the negative voices in our heads... So why do we believe them?
 
Okay, this is not to say that if the voice in your head is telling you not to jump into the fire that you should do it. This post is not advocating that. But I'm talking about NOT LISTENING to the lies that chip away at our self-worth and image as God's children. Lies that generally follow the train of thought: "You're good enough."

Because we are. Everyone is. As children made in God's image, we ARE more than enough.

So remember that. Slay that nasty voice in your head - it's not from God.

 

There are many prodigal sons

... of which I am counted as one.

I misheard the lyrics of a song the other day, and heard those lovely words instead :) Yes, my heart said, I am a prodigal son, returned and forgiven :)

But the real song is just as poignant. Here follow the lyrics:

Leeland - Tears of the Saints

There are many prodigal sons
On our city streets they run
Searching for shelter
There are homes broken down
People's hopes have fallen to the ground
From failures

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We're crying for them come back home
We're crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

There are schools full of hatred
Even churches have forsaken
Love and mercy
May we see this generation
In its state of desperation
For Your glory

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We're crying for them come back home
We're crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children, in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children, in Christ you stand!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We're crying for them come back home
We're crying for them come back home
And all Your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

Hold on...there's a light at the end of the tunnel

I find it incredibly hard to think of something to say when faced with friends and loved ones who are going through hard times. How can I remind them of God's love and sovereignty without sounding trite and cliched? How can I support them and show that I love them when I don't understand what they're going through? It's hard to think of the right thing to say.

That's why I was so grateful that a friend of mine played me this amazing song by Third Day recently. I love it so much :) because I was also needing it at the time! Hope it helps.

Tunnel - Third Day

Well I won't pretend to know what you're thinking
And I can't begin to know what you're going through
And I won't deny the pain that you're feeling
But I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you
Just remember what I told you
There's so much you're living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
So keep holding on

You got your disappointments and sorrows
You ought to share the weight of that load with me
Then you will find that the light of tomorrow
Well it brings new life for your eyes to see
So remember what i told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
So keep holding on
Keep holding on

So remember what i told you
There's so much you're living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you yeah
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you yeah
There's a light at the end of this tunnel ooh
For you, for you yeah
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holding on
Keep holding on
Keep holding on now

You got your disappointments and sorrows
I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you


Here's a Youtube clip for those who want to listen to it: Tunnel- Third Day.
NOTE: it's not the official music video.