Helping.Helped - a thought on living within community

Yesterday, I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in ages. We quickly caught up about a number of things, including my prep for England. Very excitedly, I shared with her how I was feeling so much more at ease about going over ever since some people there had gotten hold of me and expressed a warm welcome. She thoughtfully said, looking at me: "That's so great, especially 'cause it must be such a different experience for you. I mean, you're the type who prefers helping out, not being helped."

Her honest words made me pause. Sheesh, I'm as readable as a Jane and Dick grade 1 reader. I am very much a I-can-do-things-by-myself-yes-sure-I-can-help-you-but-no-I-don't-really-need-any-help-from-you-okay-maybe-I-need-some-help-carrying-this-1-ton-elephant-by-myself. It's something I've always struggled with, with manifestation in a prominent so-called Saviour/ Superman complex.

But I realized then that over the last few years God has slowly been changing me, and I'm much better than I used to be. I've come to realize that being so stubborn about not allowing others to help me is actually a barrier to forming community and to creating open, transparent, equal relationships. Mutuality depends on a give and take; not just a take - and by selfishly saying that I was beyond other people's help, I closed down their power to make rightful contributions to our relationship or to our broader community.

This is a lesson that had many iterations, many episodes, and a number of people contribute to its articulation, but here's one situation to illustrate:
Every week during Thursday night Bible studies, a different cell group is on duty, which means that they help serve up dinner, do the dishes after, serve coffee/hot chocolate. Sometimes I'd be standing with friends on duty, and would end up helping them instead of letting the groups serve. However, I was struck by the fact that me helping out every now and then robbed the group members of serving the church family, something which we were trying to encourage by creating this very opportunity. Fail? Yes, much. Rectifiable? Of course. And so it goes.

I now try to stop my first instincts to be like Me, Me, I can help, especially if there's someone else who's just as capable and can use the opportunity to serve. I also try to tell people when I need their help, instead of doing everything by myself.

After all, if the church is a body, the kidney doesn't stand by itself. Neither does the liver. They work together as a conduit of fluids/ particles/ stuff. [Biological knowledge breakdown right here.] And it is in this working together, with each part bringing its own contribution, that the body works so beautifully :)