Adoption Day

Today was Adoption Day - a full-day seminar on adoption with talks by professionals, as well as adoptive parents. I've been thinking about adoption for a few years, so this seminar was timely, as I was really keen on learning about adoption from a Christian perspective. I think it a necessary consideration, because I live in a country where the majority live in poverty, and where there are so many children in need.

The day was well-structured, and the topics chosen gave a thorough overview of adoption and many of its emotional, practical, socio-cultural, legislative factors. We went from the 'Legal Process of Adoption' to parenting adopted children and factors to consider when bringing a child into a family that already had children, understanding grief and loss in adoption, race and culture, and how to encourage adoption communities and engage with adoption within church families.

There were also some great testimonies. It was so heartwarming to hear how the adoptive parents loved and accepted their children, and how so many of their communities supported them in thoughtful, considerate ways. One family shared how their cell group hosted a baby shower for the mom - one of those events that are planned so matter-of-factly for a natural birth mom, but aren't usually thought necessary for adoptive parents.

Another story had me crying softly. The dad shared how they'd adopted a young HIV positive boy at 7 (the dad confessed that he'd first told God he'd adopt, but just not a HIV+ kid, as he felt that there'd be too many risks involved - little did he know God's plan for his life). Just before their first visit to the grandparents, he told the little boy that they were going to visit Nana and Oupa. "Nana and Oupa?" the little boy asked. "I have a Nana and Oupa?" "Yes, of course," the dad replied. "You've joined our family, now they're yours too." Now, what Nana had done was to download all the photos of the little boy she could find on Facebook, and had them printed, framed, and placed all around the house, just as if the little boy had always been part of the family. When the little boy walked into the house, he stared at all his photos showing that he too belonged, and turned to the dad and said: "She DOES know me!" What an amazing display of welcome :)

What laid the foundation for the whole day was a great opening talk on how we, as Christians, have been adopted by God into His family - one of the main reasons that have shaped my own desires to adopt. As a adoptive couple said: "We adopt, because we were adopted ourselves".

A few points from the talk: "Humanity abandoned its creator, but our Creator did not abandon us. In this context of voluntary orphanage, our Creator came down and offered to adopt us. Adoption is a picture of grace. Once we rejected God, His duty and responsibility to us ceased. But his love did not."

14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs— heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
- Romans 8:14-17

Alun, the speaker, also reminded us of how we are to go about adopting: "Whatever you do, do it not from guilt or pride, but out of gratitude for your own membership in the greatest of families by what the greatest of Gods has done at the greatest of costs. [...]We need to get away from adoption as a second-best option: adoption is a first-choice option for people who know Jesus Christ first hand."

As someone who has been taken by God into His most amazing worldwide family, as someone who is a temporary stranger on this earth, as someone who now has an eternal inheritance and a Dad who is Creator of the World, I cannot wait to adopt and to similarly take people into my own family :)

Happy Fathers' Day

While trawling the mall yesterday, I saw a number of cutesy things to buy for Father's Day.

My favourite 'spotted' item, which I thought really apt for our relationship with God was a mug bearing the following words
"For someone who may be my father, but who I call dad."

Abba, Father.

God's love...

I can't brag about my love for God because I fail Him daily, but I can brag about His love for me because it never fails.

- Owl City (yip, the pop act) via his Twitter

God's been saying a lot to me lately about His love for me. I must ponder these things, but I will write again.

My walk is not your walk, but is God's

A friend just responded to my latest posts via email:

Who is this new author of What about Grace? I don't recognize her from the one I knew last year :)
It's very encouraging and I praise and thank God for it!
Do you remember its about a year and a half ago we both started out with "You can change" - you have changed :)

I can't tell you how pleased I was to hear this. I'd been thinking this morning I hadn't really changed much; in fact, it felt like I was struggling more. After reading this email though, I had to reassess myself and have come to the conclusion: I definitely feel more settled, more confident in God's ability to run my life, and more comfortable about trusting Him than I have in a long time. Last year, I felt like John Mayer's heroine, "walkin' like a one man army/ fighting all the shadows in my head". Now, I'm still fighting, but it's more like a four man army.*

This incident reminded me of something I read a few weeks ago. [I paraphrase now because said friend is borrowing the book.] The author contrasts different types of the Christian walk, and points out: "Some people appear to be ever consistent, progressing steadily in godliness. Others seem to have patches of nothing interspersed with periods of phenomenal growth. Everyone is different."

[Something like that. I'll type it out in full in one of the comments once I get the book back.]

Point is, when I read that, for the first time I realized I might not be the former type as I'd always thought a good Christian should be. And that it was okay.

Sometimes there are stretches where it's hard, painful. There are stretches where I don't read anything or pray, and I want to withdraw and I want to give up. There are stretches where it's easy to be God's child, where I gobble up solid Christian book after another, and have a great phat chat with God throughout the day. Both these stretches are okay, 'cause God is in control. And everyone's path is different.

I'm not saying that we should renounce responsibility for maintaining our relationship with God. This is rather me saying that I've learnt that I need to let go and to trust God with His plan for my life.

Who knows, maybe the rest of the year is going to end up being as severe a drought like last year (where, interestingly, the number of blog posts was also indicative of the amount of time I had for God). God only knows.

But whatever happens, it's for my good. 'Cause He, not me, is in ultimate charge of my growth plan.

*Me, Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. They love a good fight.

fruit of the Spirit: a thought on mentoring

Am I the only one who reads through the passage about the fruit of the Spirit love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, and wonders: But what does that all mean? What does it mean to be loving? To be kind? To be gentle? To be faithful?

Theoretically, I've got it all down pat. Practically, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing.

I used to answer myself with the thought that I must be all these things like Jesus. But I soon came to realize that unlike Jesus, I can't show love by producing enough loaves to feed 5000 people, I can't die on the cross for them, I can't spend three years teaching and preaching. Sure, in some ways, I will be caring for others, telling them about cross, and sacrificially giving myself up for people, but my acts of grace, kindness, love, sacrifice, will be far smaller, simpler acts. My acts of grace, kindness, love, sacrifice will also take place in a context far from the Ancient Middle East, and this might call me to do things Jesus never did himself. After all, like Edgar Watson Howe wrote: "A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around".

I further came to realize that my past life hadn't prepared me for life as a child of God. If you've spent your life following the god of the air, giving into your sinful desires and commands, to find yourself in the land of the light as a child of God is a complete surprise. How does one act then? If, for instance, you've given in to anger consistently, answering someone gently might not even enter your mind. And what would gentle look like anyway?

This is where God's people can step in to be an example or actively correct you, if needed. [Obviously, it's only God who can change you, but for the purpose of this post, I want to talk about people's responsibilities in modelling that change.]

Sometimes, I do something and people say 'Oh, that was kind' [Hooray, I say, I now have an example of what 'kind' is.] Sometime, I do something and people say 'Oh, that was harsh' [Sorry, I say, I didn't realize - and then I go ponder why it was unkind.]. Sometimes people don't say anything to me, but to each other, and from their reactions to each other I see what kind and gentle etc is.

We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night, and those who get drunk get drunk at night. But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
- 1 Thessalonians 1:5-11

Thank you to those who have been modelling and correcting me :)

On Slavery

My lovely Princess S married her Prince J a few months back, so now they both look out for me :) J sent me a few words of encouragement recently in response to a post I'd written about giving up as a Christian a while back; particularly, my following sentence:

"No matter how much I mess up, it's not up to me to call the shots - the only one who can ever tell me to quit is God. And He never will."

Who wouldda thought the words of encouragement would be on SLAVERY? This is what J had to say:

Last week I had the pleasure of listening to some sermons as I drove around Jo'burg. In one of the messages Tim Keller spent a decent chunk of time defining slavery. Our modern understanding of slavery is largely "race-based African/Indian slavery" which was essentially kidnapping, oppression and abuse (all of which God is clearly against). As we read scripture though, slavery is not always/not necessarily cast in a bad light, because the slavery of the day was very different from now. A slave was not necessarily poor - in fact a person could sell themselves into slavery to better their economic standing! Many slaves owned slaves. Slaves were not distinguishable by their clothing or by markings or by race or any such thing. They could own things, and were essentially managers and stewards of other people's assets, to increase these. They could therefore also manage their own things profitably and sometimes even then buy themselves out of slavery. So, at this point in the sermon, I thought: "What's the difference between a servant and a slave? They sound exactly the same... " In good preaching planning, the next sentence brought up this question and Keller proceeded to address it.

Scripture distinguishes between slaves and servants. Throughout the New Testament, we are described as slaves of [God, Christ, the gospel, each other]. Most English translations soften the word "doulos" to "servant", but that's wrong because it means "slave", and "servant" has its own word. (I'll say "apparently", because I've no knowledge of Greek.)

The difference (The Conclusion I hope will be nutritious) is that a slave can not quit.

At any time, a servant may hand in his resignation and leave on equal terms. But a slave can not quit.

So, you are correct in saying it is not up to you. For us, who have been bought out of slavery to sin (we could not quit that), we are now slaves of Christ. We are to serve (and we are free to serve) Him, and people, according to His command of love. We are not allowed to quit, and we find that this is a great safety and encouragement when we belong to the wisest, most loving and sovereign Master.

I've never been grateful before for being called a slave!

Works-based Grace (me)

Lady L tells me last night that she's a bit worried - that my latest posts and emails have been sounding like 'do, do, do, do, do, do, do'. She didn't say it as such, but in a 'do, do, do, do' focus it's very easy to slip into a works-based faith.

I've been going through all of my posts in my recent label-tagging frenzy (sorry for anyone whose RSS feed went crazy), and I realize she's right.

So again, like Sophie said, I'm actually really really going to have to just chill, just love Jesus, and be strong in Him and His faithfulness and grace instead of being anxious and overthinking what I can do to deserve being His child. [not that I was consciously thinking this, but yes, in closer examination of my subconscious, I do kinda think that you must do things for people to like you.. so I might be struggling with the concept of grace. I hate it when people do things for me 'cause then I sorta feel like I need to reciprocate to the same amount to cancel out my debt to them.]

Ummm. Hmmm.

This might be harder than I thought.

mediocrity

Aah. In light of my previous post on ambition, and several posts before that on not being a half-and-half person, a forwarded email from Kyle 'The Man' Johnston was particularly timely.

Few people aspire to mediocrity. But they often drift into it because the temptation to cut corners and take the easy route is often not recognized. It’s not recognized because it’s often veiled in the advice to “be reasonable.”

But if you are going to be effective — that is, if you are going to truly serve people well (which is what effectiveness is about), then you can’t settle for being reasonable. You have to go the extra mile.

Read more here

significant others and ambition

the groom (an overachiever of note) told of how he nearly broke things off with my friend because he felt she wasn't ambitious enough. intense! but understandable given the incredible business and personal achievements the groom had racked up in his short life. but then the groom told of how his wife-to-be-then responded, she said "No, you're wrong. I am ambitious. My ambition is to love my neighbour as myself".
BOOM. game over.

- from the lovely Lauren's blog

Confession: if there's anyone who I am more like in the story, it's the groom. Not that I'm that much of an overachiever, but because I'm starting to struggle increasingly more with pride, status anxiety etc...

For a long time, I've thought about who I might possibly end up with one day (if marriage is on the cards), and I've come to realize now that the characteristics I'd listed were along the line of the world's definition of success. Some of my preferences are definitely wisdom choices, but some of them were just.. unimportant, really.

Reading La's friends' story was such a helpful antidote because of the way that the girl so gently and firmly reminds the guy of what priorities are in life.

Here's to ambition, hoorah hoorah. I'm rewriting my list so that it has one thing on it: Main ambition in life must be to be more like Jesus Christ every day.

an orphan heart versus heart of a son

I had lunch with a friend the other day, and we were talking about our struggles as Children of God. She shared that because of her fractured relationship with her parents, one of her biggest challenges was accepting God was a loving Father, Someone who cared for her deeply, Someone she could rely on in times of trouble and need.

Unfortunately, this is a truth for many of the believers in the world - even more so as families are increasingly falling apart, and the family unit as pictured in the Bible (a happy, loving, godly family unit) is become harder to find.

At this point, I want to point you to my friend Lauren's blog, and a post she recently put up about the Heart of an Orphan versus the Heart of Sonship.

What I love about it is that it compares and contrasts what it's like being a Fatherless child, and a child with a Father. It's not a prescriptive list, but just something useful to think through. e.g., in the category of "Image of God", it has 'See God as Master' for an Orphan, and 'See God as a loving Father' as Son. In the category of 'Self-image', the Orphan has 'Self-rejection from comparing yourself to others' to the Son 'Positive and affirmed because you know you have such value to God.

I think I'm going to print it out and put it up somewhere :) That way, when I fall into the habit of thinking like an Orphan, I can say to myself, No, think like a Daughter!

24 April 2011: The night I decided not to be a Christian anymore - Part 2

I'd never seriously contemplated giving up - I'm no quitter. Especially if someone tells me I can't do something. But something was saying in me, Walk away, you are not good enough, you can't ever please God, you're going to carry on hurting Him, and carry on failing. You're an adultress, an idolater. Against that, another voice was whispering, quieter, stiller, weaker, Just hold on, don't believe the lies, God's grace is sufficient for you. Don't listen to the lies. Hold on.

The song ended, and I left the hall with everyone else. I wanted to tell someone, anyone, and ask them to pray with me, but at the same time, I suddenly realized that this was a battle I had to fight for myself. I felt like Jacob, wrestling with the Lord in the middle of the night. No-one else could be Jacob in my place.

It was a long night in many ways, but a good one. As I sat by the window, looking out at the lights sparkling in the city, I realized two very big things:

1). One of the biggest problems illuminated by this situation was that I make everything about myself. I felt unable to trust my own faithfulness, unable to trust in my own my own power in keeping focused on God. Meanwhile, it's only through God's power that I have come to know Him, and only through His power I will remain in Him. He is the one who provides the power with which I live daily for His glory. No matter how much I mess up, it's not up to me to call the shots - the only one who can ever tell me to quit is God. And He never will.

2). I had cheapened grace. My eyes had turned inwards, towards my sinfulness, away from Jesus and His sacrifice in making me white like bleach before Him. Yes, there are very few human partners who are able to deal with unfaithfulness, but our God is a loving and compassionate God, slow to anger. He is bigger than anything I can thow at Him, and His love for me through Jesus surpasses any of my iniquities, future, past and present.

The decision to walk away from God, as short as it had lasted in 5 minutes, was the best thing that could've happened to me. It's not something that would've worked so well for everyone as a shock into thinking and assessing their lifestyles, but it really opened my eyes to my tiredness of living a half-and-half life. I have realized that as much as I felt that I wanted to live a life without God, I cannot. He is all I have, and all I am. I also was rudely awakened into how at my utmost core, my foundational understandings were shaky, and how I had lost the plot a little.

So, where to now? What have I taken from my experience of seeing a future without God?

If anything, I have a renewed conviction that I must carry on as a Christian, but with a much realistic assessment of my struggles and the temptations I face. I am not completely re-energized - in fact, my sinful desires still have a firm grasp on me, and I am far more drained emotionally after this camp than encouraged. But I feel like I have finally looked at myself in the mirror - it's ugly, but at least now I know what I am dealing with. There are many things I need to work through. And no, I will not be sinfree and faithful the whole time, but God will do immeasurably more than I ask, and He is bigger than I've ever dreamt Him to be. And that is more than sufficient for me.

So, I carry on. Trusting, one step at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Back to reading His Word and praying. Back to trying. I'm tired of having a non-relationship relationship with the God of the Universe. It's time for the real thing.

24 April 2011: The night I decided not to be a Christian anymore - Part 1

As you can see from a few of my preceding posts, Equip was a really profound time. So how was it that I found myself on the last night, seriously contemplating giving up my walk with Jesus Christ? This is the story. [please read post 1 and 2.]

--

As Andrew's talks on Exodus continued, I started re-realizing the awesomeness, the intenseness, the power, the majesty of the Lord God Almighty. I had forgotten this in the last few months (if I'm honest, it's probably more like last year, or last two years). I'd fallen into the trap of making my God tiny, small enough to do my bidding when I wanted to, small enough to do my plans. But as Andrew worked clearly and faithfully through God's relationship with Exodus, my eyes were re-opened. I came to see that there was so much I'd been failing in, and little by little, I became more and more shaken at how I'd drifted away in pursuing a relationship with God.

Two particular points of his talks stand out:

The first, when we reached the Ten Commandments.
Andrew recontextualized these commandments within the framework of a typical human relationship. It's a given that when you enter into relationship with someone, you both spend time figuring out what you both do and do not like (if you don't tell each other directly from the start). For God, it's simple: You don't cheat on me with others, and you don't mess around with my name. Further, with commandments like 'do not murder', God's also saying, Don't mess around with those I have created. With these ten black and white commandments placed in such an everyday, familiar relational context, no longer did they seem unreasonable, illogical, or perplexing, but rather, obvious, a natural consequence, a perfectly reasonable expectation stemming from the objectives of a relationship.

The second, when we reached the part about the golden calf.
Andrew used the example of human relationships again to articulate how ridiculous it is when WE tell God what He is like, instead of letting Him tell us what He is like. Imagine a friend tells you that he only likes milk stout, not beer, not wine, not coffee. Just milk stout. How would he feel if you kept on buying him everything else except for milk stout? And you kept on telling him it was because he liked it? He'd be mad, right? Then why on earth did the Israelites think that God would be happy with their way of worshipping him (the golden calf), when He'd told them how, when, what, how He preferred??? Moreover, as I sat there listening to Andrew, I suddenly realized I'd made a golden calf out of God. I'd told Him to be satisfied with whatever scraps I had left of my heart and time.

As someone who regards her friendships and relationships highly, these two illustrations made a huge impact on me. And so, as I stood up with the others, ready to sing in response to Andrew's talk on the golden calf, I didn't start singing when everyone else did. Instead, I took a long hard internal look at my progress over the last few years. And, I realized that I wasn't going to make it. If I'm honest, I'm already living less convictedly, less passionately, than I was when I first became a Christian. I thought I could see the future, and my future revealed that I am going to be one of those people who twenty years from now will no longer be a Christian - someone who quietly, ever so quietly, just managed to drift off and slip away. Being a Christian was hard, was becoming harder the older I became, and perhaps, was too hard.

Moreover, it wasn't only myself I was worried about for once. Suddenly, considering things from God's side, I came to understand the ugliness of my disobedient sinfulness, of my half-hearted service and love, as well as my adultery in running after things of this world, and my increasing hesitation about letting others know that I am a Christian. What a pathetic life I've been offering to a most amazing King. I felt sickened to the core, as I imagined how it must feel if I loved someone so much to send my son to die for them, only to have them spit in my face. Shame. Guilt. Sorrow. My fault. All, my fault. And I 'm tired of hurting God with my idolatry.

In a spate of seeming logic, two thoughts came together: 1. I hate adultery. I have seen the effects it has on individuals and families, and I made a promise to myself I would never be unfaithful. 2. I am an all-or-nothing person. Therefore, the solution appeared so simple: if I can't guarantee myself that I won't hurt God with my adultery (and I will, for I am sinful and weak every single day), then I must leave God now before I hurt Him anymore. So this is it - it was time for the goodbye. Rather than wasting my time and His, I decided it was time to walk away.

It sounds like foolishness, like madness, like a rash of insanity. But as I stood there, I convinced myself that this was the only honourable thing to do. And as the song ended and the session ended, I walked out of the hall, almost in tears. This was it - my last night ever as a Christian.

I run to You

This isn't a Christian song (not that I know of), but I'm hijacking it today.

Lady Antebellum's I Run To You

I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists, but I run too late
I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems

When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you

We run on fumes, your life and mine
Like the sands of time slippin' right on through
And our love's the only truth
That's why I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you

Whoa, oh, I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you, I run to you, yeah

From Calvin's Institutes. Read, and be awed.

Institutes II.xvi.19

When we see that the whole sum of our salvation, and every single part of it, are comprehended in Christ, we must beware of deriving even the least portion of it from any other quarter. If we seek salvation, we are taught by the very name of Jesus that he possesses it; if we seek any other gifts of the Spirit, we shall find them in his anointing; strength in his dominion; purity in his conception; gentleness in his nativity, in which he was made like us in all respects, in order that he might learn to sympathise with us: if we seek redemption, we shall find it in his passion; acquittal in his condemnation; remission of the curse in his cross; satisfaction in his sacrifice; purification in his blood; reconciliation in his descent to hell; mortification of the flesh in his tomb; newness of life in his resurrection; immortality also in his resurrection; the inheritance of a celestial kingdom in his entrance into heaven; protection, security, and the abundant supply of all blessings, in his kingdom; secure anticipation of judgement in the power of judging committed to him. In short, since in him all kinds of blessings are treasured up, let us draw a full supply from him, and none from any other quarter.

Some men, not content with him alone are borne hither and thither from one hope to another, even if they concern themselves chiefly with him, they nevertheless stray from the straight way in turning some part of their thinking in another direction. Yet such distrust cannot creep in where men have once for all truly known the abundance of his blessings

Fingerprints of God

What started my re-discovery of Steven Curtis Chapman was a hunt for a particular song of his called "Fingerprints of God".

A friend and I had been chatting about stereotypes- and all of a sudden, she confided that she felt really ugly as everyone teased her about being a ginger. One guy had gone so far as to say that she would never ever be more than a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10 because she was a redhead.

It. Blew. Me. Away.

She is absolutely gorgeous, and has this phenomenal shock of golden brown/ ginger hair. Part of her beauty comes from her being taller and more built than the average girl her age - more striking, more bold - but I've heard from numerous other girls before that being tall doesn't make life easier as a girl, so I suppose this is something of an insecurity for her.

I'd forgotten what it's like when you're younger to be so completely at the mercy of what other people think of you. I mean, I still struggle now, but I remember now that when I was younger, it used to be so much worse. What people thought, really mattered. And the song by Steven Curtis Chapman was like salve on an open wound - as he sang about how beautiful the girl was that he was singing to, because she showed the fingerprints of God as a beautiful and marvelous creation, I was reminded and comforted that no matter how ugly I felt, our God, loving Father, does not make mistakes.

Listen here: Steven Curtis Capman - Fingerprints of God

Steven Curtis Chapman - Speechless

I've rediscovered Steven Curtis Chapman's Speechless today.

I used to listen to it over and over again when I first got to know Jesus. It was playing at Crossword, the camp where I gave my life to the Lord, as filler - music between sessions. As soon as I got off camp, I went and bought the CD and proceeded to play this one over and over again.

Happy memories :)

Listen:

Words fall like drops of rain.
My lips are like clouds.
I've said so many things, trying to figure You out.
But as mercy opens my eyes, and my words are stolen away.
With this breathtaking view of your grace...

And I am Speechless
I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by Your wondrous grace.
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am Speechless
In Your presence now.
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us a love that leaves us speechless.

Surprised at suffering

I've been thinking about suffering a lot lately, what with the world-at-large falling to pieces around me, my friends going through their own trials, and me mine. Just yesterday, as I was flying home after a wonderful holiday, I overheard a conversation between two ladies sitting behind me: the one was coming down from Joburg specially to visit a friend who had been rushed to hospital that morning. It seems that if you're alive, you just can't escape suffering.

It's apt then, that the following verse popped up at Bible study:

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
- 1 Peter 4:12

I wonder why Peter thought to write do not be surprised to his audience. Anyone in this day and age would be well aware that no-one escapes suffering. But even in this age of interconnectedness and hyperlinkedness, we as a people, as humankind, ARE surprised.

I've reached one general conclusion: The world's natural state is NOT to be one of suffering, and we recognise this in our responses of surprise to suffering. In being surprised at suffering, we recognise that there is another ideal that we subconsciously aspire to.

I've also reached another conclusion, however. Having been a Christian for a while, and having known the above truth for a while, I still find myself angry and surprised when people I know, friends, family, loved ones, find themselves suffering. And, I've come to realize that in some ways, as a Christian, I'm more surprised than before that we do suffer. My logic is as follows:
I know the almighty, loving Creator of the universe;
I am now His Child;
Why does He let me suffer like this?

I suppose my response is a natural one - after all, aren't we more hurt when loved ones, trusted ones, close ones disappoint us or let us down? Many times we forgive strangers far more easily than those who should've known better. I suppose at the root of my response is a selfish, sinful desire that God do what I want for MY life, not what He has ordained is best. I suppose it's a comfort that the One who is letting us go through suffering is the Only One who can see what the future holds and has deemed me able to go through what I need to go through. But for now, for good reasons, and selfish, I remain to be surprised at suffering.

Adoption- a thought

When I grow up, I want to adopt.

There're many good reasons to that I won't go into here, but something that's particuarly pertinent to us as Christians is because we too have been adopted- into a most holy and loving Family.

Kings and queens of promise

I don't often do this, but this song's just been running through my head with its intense lyrics speaking of brokenness and futility:

"We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God
Between heaven and hell".

Don't get me wrong, this is not a Christian band. [The bit I quoted now makes it seem so, does it not?] It's just a great song, holding so much of the world's pain in it.

I present to you Thirty Seconds to Mars: 'Kings and Queens'

The Year of Manning Up: NOT Taking Responsiblity

On the other hand, leadership/manning up also involves NOT taking responsibility for certain things. How is anyone going to learn if you keep on doing everything for them? How are people going to be grown, stretched, developed, if you don't allow them opportunities to fall, mess up, fail?

So what does this mean? This means, for one, that I have to stop acting like everyone's functional Saviour. This means that I need to stop doing everything for everyone. This means that whenever someone phones and needs me, it won't always be the best thing for me to drop what I'm doing to be with them. This is not to say that I shouldn't be dependable, but it is to say that I shouldn't be their one and only.

Not being everyone's functional Saviour also means acknowledging that I too need help. Kirsty recently told us how she and her husband had gone to a friend's house for supper, along with a whole bunch of other people. Being the lovely people they are, they offered to help with the dishes, only to have Lisa [I forget her real name, so this will have to suffice], the woman of the house say, 'No, no, don't worry about that, I'll do it tomorrow morning.'

The next Sunday, Tom [being the equal opportunities activist I am, I've also forgotten his real name], the man of the house, came over and said: "I have Lisa's permission to tell you that she's sorry for not letting you help her wash the dishes, and for allowing you to create this over-idealistic picture of her as the perfect woman. She likes people to think that she's capable of doing everything: for looking after the house perfectly, running around after our children, looking after me, helping with my ministries, but she's not. She can't do it all, and next time you're more than welcome to help with the dishes."

This post seems to have morphed from being about NOT taking responsibility into functional Saviourship, but I suppose that if we look at Christ's example, even though he was the Saviour, the Perfect One, He was never a functional Saviour. Look at the way He was with His disciples: there were no magical shortcuts between towns and villages- those disciples trudged the full distance following Jesus. Yet, the disciples undoubtedly learnt so much from him

So it appears then, that in manning up, I'm going to have to walk a fine line between too much responsibility and too little. Hope this made sense.. my head hurts. Sleepy time..

PS I picked up the term 'functional Saviour' from somewhere, so I hope I'm using it correctly...!!!