a sense of hypocrisy

I was telling N on the phone last night about the Rob Bell video, how I was left in a turmoil of fury and intense sadness that this proclaimed representative of Christianity didn't seem to hold to the most essential beliefs.

But as I carried on talking, I realized that underlying the intensity of my emotions was a sense of deep hypocrisy, a sense of fury at myself.

I told N: At least he's open and honest. What am I doing? I know the Jesus of the Bible, and I claim to be following Him, but I'm not even reading His Word, or making any attempts at building and deepening our relationship. At least Rob Bell, misguided as some of his teachings appear, is doing something.

What is knowledge, after all, when it translates to nothing?