Marriage, and the sanctity

Let me get this straight...Charlie Sheen can make a "porn family", Kelsey Grammer can end a 15 year marriage over the phone, Larry King can be on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE. Yet, the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really?

Stole this off a friend's FB page. Think the point is arguing for same-sex marriage, but all I can see is how people have completed trashed the sanctity of marriage. No wonder less and less marriages are taking place - who'd want to, with examples like this?

confession time

The last few months haven't been going well in terms of my walk with Christ. I can't remember the last time I read the Bible by myself. I'd say it's 'cause of being so busy (which it was - oh hell, August, September, October, November were insane, and December, January were spent recovering), but you know, priorities should remain priorities. God is gracious in that even though I'm not upholding my side of the relationship (i.e., listening to Him talk), I know He's still listening to all my selfish thoughts. He's kind like that.

Praise Him for His enduring patience and kindness.

I wish this post was me saying Okay, I'm ready to start reading the Bible again by myself, but it's not quite that. It's just a recognition of my sinfulness and fallibility. Confession time.

A few quotes that have been on my mind lately:

"What we want is not more books about Christianity, but more books by Christians on other subjects" - CS Lewis

‎"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi.

"God does not expect me to do more than I can." - For Christians who try to take on more than they can manage in the name of Christ.

Fingerprints of God

What started my re-discovery of Steven Curtis Chapman was a hunt for a particular song of his called "Fingerprints of God".

A friend and I had been chatting about stereotypes- and all of a sudden, she confided that she felt really ugly as everyone teased her about being a ginger. One guy had gone so far as to say that she would never ever be more than a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10 because she was a redhead.

It. Blew. Me. Away.

She is absolutely gorgeous, and has this phenomenal shock of golden brown/ ginger hair. Part of her beauty comes from her being taller and more built than the average girl her age - more striking, more bold - but I've heard from numerous other girls before that being tall doesn't make life easier as a girl, so I suppose this is something of an insecurity for her.

I'd forgotten what it's like when you're younger to be so completely at the mercy of what other people think of you. I mean, I still struggle now, but I remember now that when I was younger, it used to be so much worse. What people thought, really mattered. And the song by Steven Curtis Chapman was like salve on an open wound - as he sang about how beautiful the girl was that he was singing to, because she showed the fingerprints of God as a beautiful and marvelous creation, I was reminded and comforted that no matter how ugly I felt, our God, loving Father, does not make mistakes.

Listen here: Steven Curtis Capman - Fingerprints of God

Steven Curtis Chapman - Speechless

I've rediscovered Steven Curtis Chapman's Speechless today.

I used to listen to it over and over again when I first got to know Jesus. It was playing at Crossword, the camp where I gave my life to the Lord, as filler - music between sessions. As soon as I got off camp, I went and bought the CD and proceeded to play this one over and over again.

Happy memories :)

Listen:

Words fall like drops of rain.
My lips are like clouds.
I've said so many things, trying to figure You out.
But as mercy opens my eyes, and my words are stolen away.
With this breathtaking view of your grace...

And I am Speechless
I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by Your wondrous grace.
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am Speechless
In Your presence now.
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us a love that leaves us speechless.

irrational fears...

N and I, oddly enough, both starting struggling with Christianity at around roughly the same time, and for similar reasons. Well, I'm mis-representing. We both still love Jesus and convinced it's the one and only way to God... We're just a little tired.

N smses me today: "I'm scared that God will make me be in a near-fatal accident so that I have to turn/ trust in Him."

I've never told anyone before, but this is an irrational fear that's been lurking deep in the darkness. But as I'm typing, I realized something even scarier

Me: "Me too. But I'm even more scared that God doesn't do anything and I remain in this unsteady insecure state for ever..."

I can't live in this one-foot-in-the-one-camp-and-the-other-foot-dangling-who-knows-where state forever. I'm going to have to decide sooner or later; I've never been good at half-hearted attempts.

a thought on suffering...

What I don't understand about suffering is why non-Christians have to go through it. This might appear random, but it's one of those thoughts that have appeared increasingly more in my mind as I'm hugging a friend who is crying, or holding someone else's hand. How often have I not had words that comfort when asked, WHY?

We, as Christians, have hope and God and community and eternity to get us through suffering. We understand that suffering is a natural consequence of a fallen world, and we have the love of Jesus Christ to sustain us and comfort us. But where do non-Christians turn to? Yes, suffering presents moments where God calls to non-Christians that I AM LORD, but... umm... aah. I just hit the real point of my post: I think what I'm really tired of is seeing people suffer without this drawing them closer to God but further away.