afterthought: in sickness or health...

Having said everything I said yesterday, I must be fair and confess that in my arrogance, I only listen to God when I'm broken and on my knees.

in sickness or health...

Since second year at varsity, I've fallen prone to illness a number of times. In fact, in my second year and third year, I had sinusitis about 6/7 times each year (and each time I had to take antibiotics).

I finally figured out it's the dairy that's causing many of such issues, so now Life 2.0 is going a bit better. I still get ill quite regularly though.

In short, as one of my guy friends so earnestly remarked: "It's a good thing you're not living in the wild, 'cause otherwise you'd be dead by now. Survival of the fittest, you know?"

And this constant battle with my health has taken a toll that I didn't fully realize till tonight.

As I was sitting with the usual (headache, dripping nose, dripping post nasal drip, pressure in ears : the joys of sinusitis), waiting for prayer meeting to begin, I wondered why I never brought up my health as something to pray about it. Part of it was that I'm sick so frequently, it'd be a bit of schlep, but more importantly, I realized that although I have no doubt that God has the power to assure my eternal salvation, I'm actually not convinced about His being able to bring my physical body healing. When I get better, it's not 'cause I believe God has healed me, but rather the inevitable progress of the happy little fighter cells in my body.

But no, I told myself, I know that God has enough power! Jesus so clearly demonstrated this in the gospels, where he is shown to have power over illness, death, the elements, and people and spirits.

Then I realized that there's another level of disappointment within me: I feel now as though being sick is inevitable, and it's crippled my heart to the point where I don't think God cares enough to heal my physical being: That eternal life is enough, and so I should be satisfied with that. That I can't ask for more. That even if I were to, He'd say no.

What a feeble, sad, half-God I'm serving in my head, one that is clearly at odds with the loving, omnipotent Father in the Bible.

my way or Your way

If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don't like, it is not the gospel you believe, but yourself.

- attributed to St Augustine on Twitter

Sanctuary

Sanctuary: [...] a right to be safe from arrest in the sanctuary of a church or temple, recognized by English law from the fourth to the seventeenth century.
- Wikipedia

"The church is full of weirdos. This shouldn't surprise you. The Rotary club won't have them; the athletics club won't take them. But the church - the church takes them all in."
- Frank Retief

Even though the church no longer legally provides sanctuary, it's good to know that the body of Christ still performs a role as a place of refuge, albeit socially.

What a glorious picture of grace.

the attitude of serving

You will certainly carry out God’s purpose, but it makes a difference to you whether you serve like Judas or like John

via @CSLewisDaily on Twitter

Jesus' blood never failed me yet

I'm feeling a little homesick tonight, hearkening to a home I don't really know, but hope and pray for.

Gavin Bryar's Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet (link to Wikipedia page here).

It's very simple - a clip of a homeless man singing the simple chorus "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet" that is gradually overlaid with instrumental tracks. It's very long (it unfolds slowly over 25 minutes), but a few verses are enough to be reminded of the simple truth:

Jesus' blood never failed me yet

Never failed me yet
Jesus' blood never failed me yet

This one thing I know
that He loves me so

[Watch/listen to the Tom Waits version here]

God is good. All the time.

“Lord, to whom shall we go?"

I've come to realize more and more that there is no-one apart from Jesus Christ.

In my despair, in my fear, in my hopelessness it is to Jesus I cling, desperately reminding myself and the emotion that tries to sinfully wrest me away from Him that there is no-one else who can compare.

Sometimes I do not follow Him willing. Quite often, my sinful self wants to rebel. More often than not, I do. But I cannot turn away completely - because I am helpless without Him.

I cannot turn away - because He is all I have.

I cannot turn away - because without Him, I am nothing.

Why?

Simon Peter says it best.

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

- John 6:66-69