Feelings are a theological nuisance... Or Not. Part 1

setting: a high-ceilinged church hall
occupants: a mix of students, dressed in summer clothes, with the odd jersey or cardigan here and there. Some are seated at long rows of tables, with plates of food in front of many, and empty plates in front of others. A few students are lounging on big couches in the one corner, while others are moving around in the kitchen, serving food to a handful of students that are queueing.

enter, one female student. pan to thoughts (yes, this is a super-awesome camera that can pan to thoughts).

Me: "Gosh, I'm glad I made it. Hmm.. Yeah. Maybe I should go say hi to.. Nah. Flip. Why hasn't anyone noticed that I'm here? Oh. Hmmm. Oh, there's a group of people I know. They seemed to be huddled in a tight conversation. Would be weird if I just barged in. Oh, So-and-so is looking at m.. Oh, no he's not. Oh. Okay. Maybe I should just go stand in the food queue. Okay. Oh, this sucks. Why do I always have to be the one that makes effort? Why can't other people make effort with me (flashbacks to events earlier in the week, to the music of Lord of The Rings, where said student is shown helping, meeting up with, encouraging other students). I've sacrificed so much for these people! Why are they just ignoring me??!?!? Me, me, me, look at me! Boohoo."

CUT!

So there I was. Finding myself unwanted and unloved. My feelings were grotesquely exaggerated after a long week of crazy events happening where I'd felt I'd given much of myself to my friends and fellow brothers and sisters-in-Christ. And having come late to a Bible study already feeling quite tired and weary, I felt particularly disheartened that, when no-one was reaching out to me.

But then! Epiphany! I realized that the way I felt ( i.e. used and betrayed by my friends), was exactly the way that God must have felt that week. He'd been the one sustaining me, making the sun to shine down upon me, blessing me with friends and food and health and shelter, and instead of acknowledging His work, I just ignored Him. I could just imagine God somewhere coming in through the door in my busy life, going "Me, me, me, look at me!" And I steadfastly refused to show any recognition of His presence.

Just in case those that aren't really into emotions or feelings suddenly think that I've been smoking crack, one only needs to read Hosea [in the Bible] to see the extent of the betrayal God feels when his people, Israel, run after other idols.

[Israel] said, 'I will go after my lovers,
who give me my food and my water,
my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink.'

Therefore I, [God] will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.

She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Then she will say,
'I will go back to my husband [God] as at first,
for then I was better off than now.'

She has not acknowledged that I was the one
who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil,
who lavished on her the silver and gold—
which they used for Baal (Hosea 2:5-8).

So what does this show about feelings? Well, what became clear in Part 1 was that feelings are powerful, and God sometimes uses this power to point us back at Him. I think this calls for a certain self-reflexivity, and (NB) this need not always be the case, but it can be.

Now let's turn to Part 2 for another example.

The post which started this all off can be found here: Feelings are a theological nuisance.