blergh..................

Sometimes I just feel unloved, insignificant and unappreciated.

In fact, last Sunday was exactly one of those days. It was a number of things, really: the Saturday had been an awesome but EXTREMELY packed day. Which meant I slept the whole of Sunday as I was still a bit sick. Which in turn meant that by Sunday evening I hadn't done any prep work for the seemingly mad week ahead, but I headed off to church anyway. And church was madness! A million and one things to do, a million and one people to talk to, and a great talk on the meaning of life. But this meant that I just felt a bit overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done AND the reminder that there were so many people I loved who could die without knowing God. Then I got home to face my diary, and instead of organising my week, was just bleak about everything. As in everything. Oh yes, add to this an awful foot injury which is taking its sweet time to heal.

Blergh x 100000000000000000000000000.

And it was hot and I was irritated and so I went to sleep feeling rather blergh and frustrated with God. And I had the longest chat ever with God telling Him how frustrated I was and mad at myself for not trusting in Him and for trying to do everything and mad at the fact that some of my nearest and dearest weren't Christians yet and mad at the heat and mad at the smokey fires that are burning up our mountains and mad at my foot for not healing and mad at me for not letting my foot heal by resting and mad at being so busy and involved and mad that I felt underappreciated and no-one had asked how I was doing and mad 'cause I felt that no-one made effort with me and mad that I thought such silly things when my friends are superamazing and so wonderful and then I was just mad. MAD. And then I woke up at 3 still mad (in fact, probably even MORE mad considering it was 3 in the morning) and hot. But when I switched on my cellphone, the following message came through from an unknown number: "You looked a bit sad tonight. Are you okay?"

And I was completely overwhelmed. For at that moment, it felt as though God was gently reminding me that no matter how insignificant or unloved I felt, I was always of concern to Him. Even though I had felt unnoticed that evening, someone had noticed and been concerned enough to sms. And through that person, I felt as though as Someone Else was reminding me that I was never no-one to Him.

What an unbelievably amazing feeling it was being reminded by a member of God's body that to God I am always precious in His sight. :) Yay!

And no, then I was no longer mad :)