We are always all to ready to judge, and all too slow to love and to try understand. I can claim this, for I am the same as you. And so it is, that I'd always been quick to judge (albeit silently) Christian girls and guys who ended up with Significant Others who didn't love Jesus. But God is a patient Teacher, and I've been taught to have compassion in this particular regard, so when a friend of mine was telling me about his sister who's currently with a non-Christian, I didn't respond as I might have a few years ago: 'She shouldn't be with him; what is she thinking?; if she'd acted properly in the first place, it wouldn't have gotten this far'.
Instead, I told him about how an older friend had recently told a group of us that his best friend doesn't love Jesus, but he married a Christian woman. 'But', our friend had cautioned as he [perhaps] saw the looks on everyone's face, 'before you are the first to throw a stone at her, just wait a few years until your own body clock is ticking and you're looking for someone to marry'.
This is not an exercise in looking for excuses- the Bible is quite clear that we are not to end up with non-Christians as marriage partners, but I told my friend this story as I think that our friend was saying this to caution us against being too quick to judge - for even if things are black-and-white, as people on the outside of the situation, we forget how hard it can be for the person inside.
So let's be more compassionate in the way we implement the black and white in our lives..
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Why liberty is good for human functioning…
6 years ago
5 comments:
Indeed it's not an easy kind of thing. We must not be hypocrites (Matthew 7:1-7), but rather have to discern what is right and wrong, yet without judging people. We have to speak the truth in love.
I have had some conversations where my friends have been too concerned with not understanding the situation from the affected person's perspective (case in point was homosexuality) - though this is absolutely key in keeping us loving, I think in some particular instances it swung to the opposite extreme and suddenly it was not OK to say that practising homosexual acts is wrong ("you don't understand what they feel, so you can't say what they do is wrong").
We absolutely can lay claim to truths that God has made plain to us - and then we will be equipped to speak the truth in love (no point in attempting love without a firm truth).
i.e. sometimes we need to work on being more compassionate, sometimes we need to work on being more truthful, because both are needed.
This is something which I have been wondering about a lot lately. I do not think, however, that "body clock" is a valid defence.
We know that Paul says in 1 Cor 7:1-2 that, ideally, a person should not get married. Getting married would add to one's concerns here on Earth (the well-being and welfare of the significant other) and thus rob time from serving God.
The dilemma which I have been facing over the past few months (apart from affection for an unbeliever) is the question of having a significant other at all: if we are suppose to walk in a close and personal relationship with Jesus and if He is suppose to be our comfort and strength, is it not wrong to have such a burning desire for human companionship in a "significant other"?
I am slowly realising now, though, that God recognised the loneliness in Adam even while God dwell on Earth. Rather than punishing Adam for this (which one could say I have been thinking of as a lack of faith in terms of myself), God blessed Adam by creating for him a companion here on Earth. After the fall of man - an event which led to the withdrawal for God's direct presence amongst humanity - wouldn't we naturally be more inclined to loneliness?
But the companionship I desire for myself, I realised a while ago already, needs to be godly.
No, I don't think that "body clock" is a valid defense, and I don't think that's what my friend was trying to say either as I stated in my blog.
As for your dilemma, like all other good things in life, it only becomes wrong when it trumps your desire for God. But I'm going to go think about this a bit more...
This is from my friend, K, who says that his brain was a little bit fried when he read this interaction, but I'm posting his thoughts here anyway 'cause I think he makes valid points:
"Some thoughts I had while skimming the conversation:
1 corinthians 5 does call us to judge each other. Notice the reason given in those verses. Yhis is just a balance for the post though. [Grace: good, yes, true, thanks for that.]
Adam didn't get a wife because he was lonely. He got a wife to help him in his task. So Eve wasn't in conflict with God for Adam's affections. So marriage isn't first and foremost about your partner."
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