fruit of the Spirit: a thought on mentoring

Am I the only one who reads through the passage about the fruit of the Spirit love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, and wonders: But what does that all mean? What does it mean to be loving? To be kind? To be gentle? To be faithful?

Theoretically, I've got it all down pat. Practically, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing.

I used to answer myself with the thought that I must be all these things like Jesus. But I soon came to realize that unlike Jesus, I can't show love by producing enough loaves to feed 5000 people, I can't die on the cross for them, I can't spend three years teaching and preaching. Sure, in some ways, I will be caring for others, telling them about cross, and sacrificially giving myself up for people, but my acts of grace, kindness, love, sacrifice, will be far smaller, simpler acts. My acts of grace, kindness, love, sacrifice will also take place in a context far from the Ancient Middle East, and this might call me to do things Jesus never did himself. After all, like Edgar Watson Howe wrote: "A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around".

I further came to realize that my past life hadn't prepared me for life as a child of God. If you've spent your life following the god of the air, giving into your sinful desires and commands, to find yourself in the land of the light as a child of God is a complete surprise. How does one act then? If, for instance, you've given in to anger consistently, answering someone gently might not even enter your mind. And what would gentle look like anyway?

This is where God's people can step in to be an example or actively correct you, if needed. [Obviously, it's only God who can change you, but for the purpose of this post, I want to talk about people's responsibilities in modelling that change.]

Sometimes, I do something and people say 'Oh, that was kind' [Hooray, I say, I now have an example of what 'kind' is.] Sometime, I do something and people say 'Oh, that was harsh' [Sorry, I say, I didn't realize - and then I go ponder why it was unkind.]. Sometimes people don't say anything to me, but to each other, and from their reactions to each other I see what kind and gentle etc is.

We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night, and those who get drunk get drunk at night. But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
- 1 Thessalonians 1:5-11

Thank you to those who have been modelling and correcting me :)

Struggling with pride

When I was younger, I used to be far more wotevva about what people thought of me. Now I've come to realize that I struggle with status. As I may have mentioned before, I really like people, which is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that life is far more interesting because people are so fascinating and I enjoy making friends. The curse is that I get far too worried about what people think of me.

Why I bring this up is because I'm going over to England at the end of the year because of a prestigious scholarship. Ever since people have started hearing the news, they look at me slightly differently, and treat me slightly differently.. as though I'm a big deal.

Not helpful, no no. And I've started noticing that in my thoughts and deeds, I'm starting to drink the Kool-aid of their praise.

I told Sophie I'm concerned I'm becoming arrogant and proud. That I'm starting to believe that I am all that.

Sophie, again, was very helpful in this regard: "Do you know the antidote to arrogance and pride? Keep humble by engaging in small acts of menial service for others. Are you washing the dishes? Are you packing out chairs?"

And if I have to be honest, I've stopped helping so much with that. My attitude at church has become one of 'oh I'm too busy doing this, or talking to this person, or sitting on this chair, keeping it warm' or 'someone else should have the opportunity to serve'. These are all valid points in themselves in certain contexts, but in my situation, I use them over and over again to get out of everyday drudge work. If I'm honest, sometimes my attitude has become: 'I've served enough already; it's time for other people to serve me'.

Ooh. When did church become about me, me, me. When did my response to Jesus' sacrifice become 'what more can I get for myself out of this?'

Back to washing dishes then :)

Social justice ministry vs Word ministry: What about work

In my previous post, I dealt with my (pretty lame) reasons for prioritizing my involvement in social justice ministry over word ministry.

Which brings me to the question of work. Like I explained earlier, I've been encouraged to consider full-time paid ministry. So far, I've been hesitant about this - also explained earlier.

I hadn't reckoned for God's firm hand upon His plans for me. Richard Coekin did a great interview on ministry (it's entitled 'Maximising your gospel ministry - check out the Equip website for the MP3). At one point, he was asked: "What would you say to those people who've been encouraged to go into full-time ministry but don't have the desire?"

Wham, bam,boom.

I paraphrase his response now, but it was something like this: "Try explaining that to Jesus". The interviewer asked him for more, but Richard left it black and white - we will be accountable to Jesus one day for the way we've lived.

Wham, bam, double boom boom.

With the reminder of the power of God's word, the necessity for spreading the truth in the gospel, the love and wrath of God, and this key segment from Richard's talk, I've now reopened my future work in word ministry as a choice (not that I really a choice - God is far too powerful to need my acquiescence. He's just gracious in giving me time to come to realize that He is right.)

A number of further thoughts on choosing work:
- as Christians, our first and foremost priority should be sharing the word with others
- when considering work, this priority should also take into consideration other factors like ability, financial needs. e.g. If you don't have the ability to teach the Bible, then full-time ministry's probably not for you. e.g. If you don't have the money to go into full-time ministry and can't raise support, perhaps it's best if you work for a few years.
- if, you choose not to go into full-time paid ministry, then make sure that your work does give you time to engage in your local community and serve there as well.

Having said all that:
- Richard seemed to have a very black and white view of what to do with your gifts - if you have the gifts, use them. If you don't, go work to raise money to support others to use their Bible-teaching gifts.
- At the same time, I think it's helpful to remember, as I've been reminded, that every industry needs Christians in it - the film, the engineering, the sciences. Just keep in mind, it's only worth being at the top, if you're using your position to influence. If you're not, why are you really there?

Fortunately, I still have three/four years before I have to make any hard and fast decisions about work, but as a slow thinker, it's best I start thinking now ;)

Social justice ministry vs Word ministry: Not a vs

One of my bugbears is how so many Christians do not care about what's happening in the world. As someone who tries to keep up-to-date with what's happening, it frustrates me when others have no heart for what's going on in Egypt, Liberia, Japan. Not that everyone needs to know everything, but when people know even less about what's happening in their own country? This makes me REALLY worried.

I have become more and more convicted that part of our calling as Christians is to be invested in our world and understanding what's happening here. I remember sending an email to someone on this matter, pressing upon the urgency and necessity of doing so:

How can we be stewards if we do not understand the contexts and the times we live in? How can we minister, when we do not understand the issues and the people we minister to? Particularly in South Africa, where we have such a hectic past that still is a huge influence in the way that people interact and engage with each other today. Particularly in South Africa, where God has chosen to show such beautiful diversity, which is being used to keep separate, instead of together. Particularly in South Africa, when there is SUCH a need for godly leadership, for leaders in all sectors who actually care for their people, as opposed to the examples of many in government. Particularly in South Africa, for God in his infinite wisdom has placed each one of your classmates here and said "Here. This is the place you will make a difference."

It all sounds good, doesn't it, my passion for social justice? Over the years, I've felt increasingly convinced that I want to spend the rest of my life working in social justice projects and initiatives.

I hadn't realized though how I'd made my passion for social justice oppositional to and exclusionary of gospel ministry. I remember, when I was told to consider going into full-time paid ministry, responding: no, no, I don't have the desire for it. I think God's telling me to go into social justice ministry. Wise people advised me that these two things weren't oppositional, but I made them so in my thinking. Even worse, I placed social justice ministry over and above word ministry.

I've come to recognise a number of stupid reasons were shaping my thinking. [I'm first going to go into the reasons, before heading into a next post with thoughts about work.]

The first, and most deceptive, was a defeatist opinion of the gospel's power. Discouraged particularly by the lack of response from one specific non-Christian friend who I'd been praying for and sharing the gospel with numerous times (actually, he did respond - he just became bitter about Christianity and rejected it eventually), I'd come to believe that the gospel had no ability to change anyone's life. Why, God, should I do anything, if you're not going to do anything with my efforts? Why, God, should I care about people's eternal lives, if they're not going to get to eternity? Not that I actually articulated this belief in such a way - I just started acting on this in how I prioritized my time and energy. For the last two years, I haven't really been involved in any ministries at church, for lack of time (aah yes, what a convenient excuse) and want. I'd decided subconsciously that the best thing to do, if people weren't going to get to heaven, was to make their lives here on earth as comfortable as possible.

Some whack logic there on my part, right? I had, of course, underestimated, ignored, and completely blown off God's sovereignty, His power, and His priorities.

The second, just as insidious, reason was that I'd become ashamed of being a Christian. Being involved in social justice would still give me the space to make a difference in this world, as I believe I am called to, but without having to wave the Christian flag. It's far cooler to be a I-wanna-save-the-worlder than a I-believe-that-2000-years-ago-someone-died-for-me-one-the-cross-and-in-so-doing-my-sins-were-healed-and-that's-why-I-am-compelled-to-work-for-justice-in-this-world. In fact, I kept on using the word 'ministry' with the phrase 'social justice' to fool myself in thinking that it would be something I did for God's glory and for God's church. In reality, 'ministry' was just a nice little Christian-sounding add-on to comfort myself and my critical listeners.

Equip was illuminating in reminders of God's power, His sovereignty, His perfect control. He is not a crippled, half-powerful god who is unable to do things, but an unbelievably awe-inspiring God whose plans are not mine to question, but mine to trust and obey. I have been put in my place - I recognise now I wanted God to follow MY timing, and MY idea of what the future should be like. I have been reminded of the power of the gospel, not only as I felt myself being corrected, rebuked and encouraged as I listen to the talks, but as I observed others being challenged and grown.

So what does this mean for me, and for my oppositional placing of social justice ministry vs word ministry?

Firstly, I need to let go of my sinfulness and pray for forgiveness for belittling God and His word. The gospel is able to do immeasurably more than I allowed myself to believe. I need to pray also for idolizing my (future) work in social justice, and placing this as a higher priority above sharing the news about Him.

Secondly, I'm going to have to assess a whole lot of thinking and make sure that foundationally I haven't been suckered into further deception about what I want to do with my life, and the reasons and priorities for doing so.

Thirdly, as much as I've been saying no to considering full-time paid ministry, I am reopening that option as an option, and leaving it up to God.

Fourthly, I'm going to get plugged back into serving at my church again - for it's the gospel that will truly change the way people live here on earth, and this has again become a priority, alongside wanting to make a different to people's material lives.

I am happy as a pig stuck in mud at Bible Study

So this year, I decided not to lead Bible study. "Good", I thought. "I'll get a bit of a break.""Not so good", whispered my conscience. "You know that in the past you were under-stimulated and thus got highly distracting in bible studies."

So it was with a little bit of trepidation that I decided to join a Bible study group that was led with two good friends of mine. But last night, I realized it's going to be a WONDERFUL year of growth and learning!

Why? Well. Apart from the two leaders, there are only TWO members! (Actually three, but the one's going to England soon to have her baby there). And so, we have time to work through the passage thoroughly, and also to nut out practical applications. And because we all know each other quite well, it's a very comfortable environment within which to share and encourage and rebuke, if necessary.

Another lovely thing is that because all of us in the group have at one time or another led a group, it's also easier for the leader to lead, because our levels of exposure to the Bible are quite similar - we've all been Christians for a while, and there aren't any new family members etc in our group (which isn't a bad thing, it's just an easier thing in terms of practicalities: there aren't different levels of exposure to the bible in the group). And it's not really that we're being taught by one leader- it's that we're all teaching and leading under the facilitation of one.

So many 'ands'. This is a good thing :) Yay, my heart is happy. It's going to be a great year!

Social reform or word ministry? A thought [yes, just one]

Something I've been worrying about in the last few months is how I ought to choose the projects that I spend my time on. The difficulty comes in choosing between projects which focus on social reform or projects which are word ministries, e.g. Habitat for Humanity versus serving as a Bible Study leader at church.

Not that there is a real divide between things. On one hand, everything we do as Christians is ministry. On another, as people hear the gospel, they are (socially) reformed.

But my concern was about discerning where I'd be most effective. I've been told before that I have gifts that should be used in word ministry. Having dropped nearly all the ministries I was involved with this year, I started doubting if this had been a wise choice. Surely, the only true lasting change one can effect on this earth is to be a part of leading someone to Christ?

So, at this point in time where I find myself with two big social reform projects for the year, I feel slightly guilty. [okay, I know that the phrases 'word ministry' and 'social reform' have been repeated ad nauseum to this point, but I can't think of other ways to describe them.]

Am I doing the wrong thing? Am I 'wasting' my time and gifts? Should I rather drop these projects and go back to my ministries? I wasn't sure, because I believe that God uses our gifts, likes, preferences, passions to guide us in the ministries we should be involved in, and my heart is definitely for projects that focussed more on social reform.

Worried, I talked to Princess Sarah about this, and then she said the most illuminating thing that has eased my guilt-flecked conscience: that knowing Jesus has resulted in my love and passion for people and social reform. If it is Him that has brought about this change, then I should not worry about whether I'm doing the 'right' thing or not.

The Year of Manning Up: Taking Responsibility

In my previous post, I introduced my new year to y'all. Some of you reading might have wondered: "so what? I'm not in any leadership positions. It's always nice reading about Grace's life [why, thanks, guys], but that post didn't really have anything to do with me".

Think again. Obviously I can't tell you what to do in your own life, but here are two examples of things I can 'man up' to. Hopefully that'll spark some thoughts...

1)How we train and model lives to our younger siblings-in-Christ. [See Titus 2]. [See also: Relationships with my sisters-in-Christ.] Leading is more than being. Leading is being actively involved, training, inspiring, explaining to others who are being led. I've come to the conclusion that although placed in many leadership positions over the years, my leadership has been a very passive sort- by just being, I thought my example would be enough. But it's not. An oak tree has no impact on your life by just being on top of a mountain - it must come and plant itself in your garden. In the same way, I have re-assessed my relationships with many in the church, and realized that I have not become involved enough. This is not to say that I need to be responsible for everyone - it means that when I do choose to be responsible for some sort of leadership, that I must engage with it thoroughly.

2)I have this tendency to talk about my life as if it's not under control. 'Oh my word, it's been such a crazy week, with so much to do.' I seem to blame this crazy incomprehensible thing called 'life' for the madness of my existence. Silly. I need to take responsibility for my decisions- after all, I take the call to do something or not. This is just a minor example of me not taking responsibility for things that I have chosen to take responsibility for.

Oooh.. but now it seems as if I have an over-inflated sense of responsibility... Is Grace going to go around feeling guilty about everything/everyone she comes into contact with?

No. 'Cause part of manning up/ being a leader means NOT taking responsibility at times...

Me, me, me, me, ministry : update

I've been thinking about my ministry involvement a lot in the past half-year, especially after my near-bout of burn-out. I've been pretty much involved with most church ministries at one point or another the last few years, and so, as BO (burn-out, not body odour, silly) hit me, I was forced to reflect on the real reason why I was so involved. Was it really 'cause I was wanting to serve the church, or was it just because I'm one of those types that likes helping out/ not being served? [Seriously, I once walked into a restaurant and absentmindedly flipped through the reservation book and would have seated myself if the maitre'd hadn't stopped me!][I think my thinking behind it was that I'd save him some time by doing it myself][Who knows?!!?!?]

As a result, I decided to give up nearly all my ministries, firstly so that I could have a break and allow other people to serve [yes, you reading this, step up to the plate!], and secondly so that I could work on my relationship with God personally, instead of it being mediated by things done for the church. I decided to commit to only music ministry, as I love playing the ol' banjo (I don't really play the ol' banjo; one of my friends just calls it that, and I think it's awesome].

I also knew, though I didn't acknowledge that to myself, that it would be the easiest way out. No real work. I pitch up, play a few tunes, stand on stage looking muso, and then that's done. But I still look involved, 'cause it's a high-profile ministry (in that, we're obviously visible on stage). Easy kapeasy.

God wasn't having any of that. And He has been gently reminding me that I have gifts that I could use more effectively in the service of the church body (a banjo is a nice-to-have, not a need-to-have), and so, I resigned yesterday so that I can focus on a word-teaching ministry for the year.

To be honest, I'm quite stoked. Sure, I'm going to miss playing with the bands, but at the same time, I've played most mornings and evenings for the last five years. This way I get to sit in the congregation and get to learn the words (and sing!) [I don't know as many titles of the songs as I should... people sometimes have to hum the tune so that I can figure out what they're talking about!]. It also frees me up to welcome newcomers who have the misfortune of sitting next to me, as with music ministry I was always stuck up on stage :)

So yeah, this is me me me me me and ministry for now :)

Sometimes I'm the student, not the teacher...

"Would you like to explain this?"
"You mean my absenteeism in the past few days? My family's having some personal issues and I've had to go with to the hospital on some occasions. Sorry, I was planning to tell you at some point."
"No, I mean your essay. It matched an internet source, almost word-for-word."

I tutor English first years, and one of the yuckiest things I've had to do this year is to confront one of my students about plagarism. What made it even worse was that the student in question is really bright - one of those students who show real insight into the work, and give great input in class. But this is nothing new - as a tutor and a student myself, I've heard a million stories about students copying here and there, just adding a little bit on here, even those that are exceptionally intelligent. What particuarly crushed me about this discovery, because I knew that she loved Jesus too.

My first instinct was of disappointment. Why on earth was she 'letting the team' down? Why did she, one of the few Christians in my class, have to be the one who'd messed up like this? Why on earth, was she acting like someone who didn't care about God's commands?

My second instinct was of shame. No, not about her behaviour, but about mine. Yes, she is the daughter of a Father who does not condone cheating, but I too am the daughter of a Father who loves me and others like me, despite our sinfulness and multiple falls into temptation. I'd somehow forgotten that Christians aren't better than anyone else- we are not perfect, and we are not exempt from temptation. I'd forgotten that the only thing different about us is that we had accepted grace and forgiveness.

What a great reminder that with God, I am always the student, and not the teacher.

Back to burnout, back to basics

So ladies and gentlemen, let us return to the topic of burnout. I have finally realized that I might not have had a full blown-out case of it, but I was definitely was on the verge. And a lot of the reasons for this came from my need to take on more and more things because of proud arrogance. I realized this when my friend, let's call him G-Dawg, was talking to me and said: "I think it's probably best for you to not do so much, 'cause I'm sure that some people could cope easily with the amount of things you were doing, but you couldn't". At that point, the proud voice inside me shouted: "WHAT?!?!? Do you have ANY idea how much I was actually doing?!?! Do you know that mere mortals would've succumbed to yellow fever and depression and scurvy all at the same time because of the pressure from all the things I had to struggle with?!?!" And then my rational voice kicked in, and I sheepishly laughed (still only mentally, as a burst of sheepish laughter at this point would've probably alarmed my poor friend, who would've probably thought that this was a true indicator of insanity and burnout). Not only did this voice reveal my overinflated sense of self, but I also laughed at God being so wise to give me friends who didn't treat me like the Be-all, End-all, and All-Capable-Superwoman.

On that note, I was recounting the number of people I know who recently was struggling with burnout to a friend of mine. Now, many of the people I told him about are highly involved in ministry at my church, so he understandably picked up on this: "Woah. Your church sounds like a Church of Works," he mused aloud. 'Agh, don't be silly', I thought, but later as I was driving home, I thought about it. Something I'd realized from this whole situation, was that I'd perhaps fallen into the trap of thinking that 'do do do' was the answer, and that if i 'did did did', I didn't really need to spend that much time with God, or work on my relationship with him. For as much as serving is a reflection of what Jesus' death means for you, it can also be turned into a bad thing of becoming a reflection of your misunderstanding of Jesus' death for you. In other words, serving changes from being a way of saying thanks to God for Jesus' death, into a way of working your way into heaven.

So, I'm now rethinking through a lot. Please pray for me every now and then :)

Burn out or rust out?... Part 3

Part 3: How do we keep ourselves?

We have a duty to keep ourselves and to keep each other.

What is the single best way to keep yourself in ministry?
1) Keep yourself a Christian
2) Keep yourself continuing in what you have learnt

We also have a responsibility to keep each other
- there is no such thing as privatized Christianity.

Umm. Yeah. This is a short one, 'cause I kinda got over taking notes at this point. Heehee.

Hmmm. I found it helpful to reconsider reasons for ministry etc., but I was expecting many more practical tips about burn out. Instead, I found that after these sessions, I felt obligated to get involved with more ministries, instead of trying to cut down on my own current number (which a person containing a measure of sensibility might suggest). So. Burn out, huh. Fortunately, a friend of mine recently went to see a Christian psychologist about this, who was apparently VERY helpful with practical tips, so once she has emailed me the notes, I'll post them up here. Till then, exercise, eat healthy, sleep enough, and laugh.

Burn out or rust out?... Part 2

Part 2: Organized ministry

We need to be emotionally committed to people. Note that apostle Paul never talked about ministry being fun - the Bible makes it clear that while serving in ministry he experienced hardship, emotionally and physically.
e.g. in 2 Timothy 1:15, Paul writes:
"You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes".

And so it is, that we will also experience hardship. So how can we be sensible about our ministries?


1) Keep thinking vertically, not just horizontally.
- one of the biggest faults in ministry is pride
- we make the mistake of wanting people's approval to validate our ministry
Why do we fall into this trap? Because people give immediate and visual feedback
BUT it is to God we are accountable

2) Think holy, and not just ministry
- don't compartmentalize areas of your life e.g. church life, work life, leisure life.. being holy should underscore all of these areas

3) Think personally (realistically), not just hypothetically
- acknowledge each other's differences
e.g. genders: girls might need a hour and half for 1-to-1 meetings to have good long catchup chats; guys might only need 45 minutes
- know yourself and who your colleagues are
e.g. find out which times of the day you work best, which times of the year you struggle with being motivated

4) think pastorally, and not just professionally
- it's not a job: we should work hard, love them, and not just be legalistic

Burn out or rust out?... Part 1

So a few weeks ago, I mentioned that I'd gone to a 3-part seminar on Burn out [seeA thought on burnout]. To be more precise, the sessions on ministry-related matters. I've finally found some time to type out some of the notes, so here you go!

Part 1: Motivation for ministry

Our motivation to be involved in Christian ministry is based on a God-centered theology, which can be outlined in 8 reasons. Why it's important to keep these 8 reasons in mind, is because we want to be asking ourselves: are our ministries in line with these things? Are we pushing our ministries in the direction that God is pushing his ministry?

1) Because of God's plan

Ephesians 1:3-10

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ."

2) Because of God's glory

Acts 17:16-17

"While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was greatly distressed to see that the city was full of idols. So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Greeks, as well as in the marketplace day by day with those who happened to be there."

3) Because of God's judgement

Acts 17:29-31

"Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man's design and skill. In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead."

4) Because of God's love

1 John 4:7

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."

2 Corinthians 5:14

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died."

5) Because of God's gospel

Romans 1:14-19

"I am obligated both to Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are at Rome. I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."

6) Because of God's promise of faithfulness

Matthew 28:18

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

7) Because of God's patience

2 Peter 3:8-9

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

8) Because of God's reward

1 Thess 2:17

"But, brothers, when we were torn away from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of our intense longing we made every effort to see you. For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, did, again and again—but Satan stopped us. For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy."

A thought on burnout...

So I just got back on Sunday from a HECTIC week attending an awesome youth summit, and when I walked into church that evening, Doug (our crazy student minister) promptly invited me to a training day the next on the subject: Burn out or rust out? As he suddenly went into a bout of 'wide-eyed, focussed looking' and 'nodding', I finally clicked that this sudden attack of physical movement wasn't because he was undergoing a minor epileptic fit, but because he was trying to subtly hint that I was a prime candidate for attending this meeting. As if I was in danger of burning out like other minor mortals, pschaw. Puhleeeeaassee. So last year.

But as I thought about it, it's actually something we should be seriously considering as people who live for Jesus. It doesn't matter whether we're in full time ministry or not- we are all called to serve in our own contexts. And because the implications of being in ministry and serving others in the name of Jesus are so huge, wonderful, eternal, and great, we tend to push ourselves more often than not. I'm not going to type out the notes from the 3-part series here now, as I'm actually supposed to be packing for another conference (yeah, yeah, so maybe Doug was right to be hinting so violently), but there's definitely food for thought here about how we're going about in our ministries, and whether we're doing too much or not at all..

Habitat for Humanity devotions

"Grace, don't you want to do the morning devotions?" the Habitat for Humanity vice-chair looked at me pointedly.

I shake my head vigorously. Noooo way.

For those of you who don't know, Habitat for Humanity International is a "nonprofit, ecumenical Christian organization, [...] dedicated to eliminating substandard housing and homelessness worldwide and to making adequate, affordable shelter a matter of conscience and action". So when the branch at my university recently held its weeklong International Student Build in the holidays, it meant someone had to do the morning devotions.. Me?

Sure, why not? I was someone who genuinely loved Jesus, pretty good at handling groups of people, and had been trained quite well in giving small talks at my church... But inside I was freaking out. No-one really knew it was a Christian organization, so the majority of the people coming probably wouldn't be Christian, and deep down I knew it was mostly 'cause I didn't want to be 'that' Christian girl.

But two weeks later, I find myself volunteering to take them. Despite my hesitation, I realized what an awesome opportunity this was (that is, after sharing my fears and being told to 'suck it up' a few times by my caring siblings and others). I also found it a good rebuke to be shown how much value I placed in human opinion, and not in God's.. Fear the Lord, not people.

So the challenge was this: to prepare five short devotions for a group of people who probably didn't know Jesus, and didn't care about the Christian roots of the organization they were helping on, being clear about Jesus, and also keeping it interesting and relevant. This is what I came up with...

Sometimes when the world closes its eyes, so do I

"I've seen lots of scenes on television myself that were hard to take. Guys in slips and masks pulling bodies out of a mass grave. Newborns they toss, laughing, into bread ovens Young women who coat their throats with oil before going to bed. "That way," they say, "when the throat-slitters come, the blades of their knives weren't hurt as much." I suffered from these things without really feeling involved. I didn't realize that if the victims shouted loud enough, it was so I would hear them, myself, and thousands of other people on earth, and so we would try to do everything we could so that their suffering might end. It always happened so far away, in countries on the other side of the world. But in these early days of April in 1994, the country on the other side of the world is mine" (10).

So speaks Michel Serumundo on the day he is about to die. A fictional character in Murambi, the Book of Bones by Boubacar Boris Diop, Serumondo is one of the victims that die in the Rwandan genocide of 1994. However, his constructedness doesn't negate the stinging reproach held in these words: How often do we simply turn away from tragedies in the world? And particularly striking about the Rwandan genocide is the fact that it was one where the rest of the world clearly turned their back away and did nothing to intervene while in a period of 90-100 days, 800 000 - 1,2 million people were killed.

As Michel says to his wife:

"Don't worry, Sera, the entire world is watching them, they won't be able to do anything." [...] In my heart of hearts, I knew I was wrong. The World Cup was about to begin in the United States. The planet was interested in nothing else. And in any case, whatever happened in Rwanda, it would always be the asme odl story of blacks beating up on each other. Even Africans would say, during half-time of every match, "They're embarassing us, they should stop killing each other like that." Then they'll go on to something else. "Did you see that acrobatic flip of Kluivert's?" (9, 10).

What the novel really succeeded in doing was making me think about how the world reacts to events such as this. And the thing is, the Rwandan genocide is just one in many mass injustices that has left no continent untouched. And being of such a gross nature, it really makes key questions about our participation in social events strike home, and there's one particuarly question I'd like to leave you with: In cases of unjust, inhuman events (no matter how big or small), what is our response as Christians? Do we, like the rest of the world, turn away? Do we, like the rest of the world, blind ourselves to the fact that every human has been created in the image of God and remain apathetic? Because at the act of every sinful, unjust act is a lie. And in this case, the lie would be: it doesn't matter that I don't act, because they don't matter.

I'd like to point out two possible traps you might fall into when thinking about this answer.
1) Don't fall into the trap of thinking that I'm talking only about cases that are as huge and consequential as a genocide- we've all come across little cases of injustice in our lives to which we turn a blind eye.
2) On the other hand, don't think that you need to drop your work and life and move to Rwanda to make a difference. For some of us, this might mean that we do become social activists, but for the rest of us, it might just mean small changes in our lives that otherwise remain pretty much the same.

Having said all that, I don't know what this might mean in terms of your own context and lifestyle. But let's just think a bit mroe earnestly about our participation in the world, and how this might work itself out.

So the cool thing that happened at communion this morning :)

I quite enjoy going to different churches 'cause people are so different, services rarely follow the same formula.

This morning, I visited a sister church (so same denomination) and we had communion. What I really loved that they did differently was this: They not only had the Apostle's Creed and a Prayer on the service sheet for those partaking of the Lord's supper, but also Prayers for Those Not Taking the Lord's Supper. I was really stoked by this 'cause I've quite often thought it must be lank awkward during communion for those who aren't convinced yet that Jesus IS Lord or for those who are struggling .

They actually had two prayers written on the sheet, and I'm so chuffed by them, I'm typing them both out:

Prayer for those searching for truth.
Lord Jesus, you claim to be the way, the truth and the life. Grant that I might be undaunted by the cost of following you as I consider the reasons for doing so. If what you claim is true, please guide me, teach me, and open me to the reality of who you are. Give me an understanding of you that is coherent, convincing, and that leads to the life you promise. Amen.

Prayer of Belief.
Lord Jesus Christ, I admit that I am weaker and more sinful than I ever dared admit, but through you I am more loved and accepted that I ever dared hope. I thank you for paying my debt on the cross, taking what I deserved in order to offer me complete forgiveness. Knowing that you have been raised from the dead, turn from my sins and receive you as my Saviour and Lord. Amen.

Praise God for differences and different ways of doing things :)

Praise the Lord

I'm in charge of music ministry at church, and I sometimes just want to tear my hair out because of all the niggly bits of admin!! [I am not one of those blessed with the gift of admin!] But I was heavily rebuked the other day, when slightly grumpy at the thought of all the organisation I had to do, I smsed one of the band members to remind her of the practice that evening, and she responded: "Coolio! See you later! Let's praise the Lord!"

What an awesome attitude to have :) I'd somehow lost the plot a little [maybe a lot... I definitely shouldn't have thrown the drum stick at our guitarist] [just jokes;)] and let all the little details distract me from the real reason why we were meeting and practising! Yay! Let's praise Him in everything we do!