Back to burnout, back to basics

So ladies and gentlemen, let us return to the topic of burnout. I have finally realized that I might not have had a full blown-out case of it, but I was definitely was on the verge. And a lot of the reasons for this came from my need to take on more and more things because of proud arrogance. I realized this when my friend, let's call him G-Dawg, was talking to me and said: "I think it's probably best for you to not do so much, 'cause I'm sure that some people could cope easily with the amount of things you were doing, but you couldn't". At that point, the proud voice inside me shouted: "WHAT?!?!? Do you have ANY idea how much I was actually doing?!?! Do you know that mere mortals would've succumbed to yellow fever and depression and scurvy all at the same time because of the pressure from all the things I had to struggle with?!?!" And then my rational voice kicked in, and I sheepishly laughed (still only mentally, as a burst of sheepish laughter at this point would've probably alarmed my poor friend, who would've probably thought that this was a true indicator of insanity and burnout). Not only did this voice reveal my overinflated sense of self, but I also laughed at God being so wise to give me friends who didn't treat me like the Be-all, End-all, and All-Capable-Superwoman.

On that note, I was recounting the number of people I know who recently was struggling with burnout to a friend of mine. Now, many of the people I told him about are highly involved in ministry at my church, so he understandably picked up on this: "Woah. Your church sounds like a Church of Works," he mused aloud. 'Agh, don't be silly', I thought, but later as I was driving home, I thought about it. Something I'd realized from this whole situation, was that I'd perhaps fallen into the trap of thinking that 'do do do' was the answer, and that if i 'did did did', I didn't really need to spend that much time with God, or work on my relationship with him. For as much as serving is a reflection of what Jesus' death means for you, it can also be turned into a bad thing of becoming a reflection of your misunderstanding of Jesus' death for you. In other words, serving changes from being a way of saying thanks to God for Jesus' death, into a way of working your way into heaven.

So, I'm now rethinking through a lot. Please pray for me every now and then :)